Zoophile
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Zoophilia is about loving your animal. It is about the deep primal connection felt between man and God's other creations. It is about art, love for Mother Earth and the search for spiritual knowledge with the aid of animals.
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The Difference Between Zoophilia & Bestiality
Nothing.
Some argue zoophiles are simply people who liek animals a lot - often developing romantic relationships with them. People who actually have sex with animals however practice bestiality. This is of course bullshit - in every sense of the word.
Because their relationship is not just about fucking, Zoos often feel a deep spiritual connection to the animals of their choice - most likely because they lust for their thick knotted cocks in place of their own tiny wart-covered dicks.
Since zoos claim not to have sex with animals the issue of consent is not a problem - most zoos just rape their pets. Unlike the bestiality crowd they aren't stupid enough to brag about it. Not surprisingly this page isn't as popular as the other pages because zoos claim they don't liek teh sex. The knot makes them bleed. Sorry readers, you'll have to lurk moar for material to fap to.
ζ
In an effort to hide their sick lifestyle, zoophiles often substitute the lowercase Greek letter Zeta (ζ) in their various internet profiles and interest lists in lieu of DOG FUCKER.
- Searching for this symbol on various social networking sites can result in many lulz and a great list of potential targets.
Causes
Being a Zoo has the same cause as the majority of psychoses like ass burgers, homosexuality, transgenderism and being a woman: they can't get laid. So desperate they are for some juicy luscious cock that they look for other sorces: animals. Unlike fucking kiddie-winks they have the advantage that the animal isn't going to tell.
Here is where zoophilia differs from bestiality - the bestiality crowd will scream and cry of oppression and how their rights are being trampled while Zoos know full well what they are doing is wrong and know when to STFU You haven't seen the film ZOO, have you?.
Not wanting to be seen as a sick fuck they will furiously deny that they have any sexual contact with animals whatsoever. They'll have to stick with zeta for now.
As a Source of Lulz
Furries
Zoos can be even bigger sources of lulz than your average animal-fucker because they are completely in denial about their fetish.
The biggest so-called "Zoos" are of course furries who are trying to dispell the myth that they are all doggie-buggerers. They claim that their love on animals stretches into art, fursuits and literature. They also watch cartoon aimed at the 8-11 year old fandom - and sometimes younger.
Vegetarians
Vegetarians don't eat meat. Presumably that goes for all of the animal. They claim that it's not because the animals don't understand, it's because the animals can feel pain. Of course if the Buddhists turn out to be right and plants have souls too they are just as hypocritical and murderous as the rest of us.
PETA
As always there is a group that takes it too far. PETA claims to be an animal-rights group. In fact they love their animals so much they kill the majority of those they claim to be taking care of (indeed, when they say "Take care of it" they obviously mean it in a more Mafia type of way).
Why so many animals die when PETA claims to love them is obvious - if they can't fuck them, no one can.
Videos
The most fucked up 19 seconds you'll ever see:
This created minor lulz and major butthurt:
Notable OL Zoos
- Duke_Otterland
- WolfJLupus
- Charles-wolfman
- Malerymalamute
- Zeriara
- MyTanookiSuitHasBalls
- Ebon Lupus
- Poeticirony
- Chibiabos
See Also
- Bestiality Know when to call a spayed a spayed.
- Furries
- Mr. Hands
- Libertarianism
- Orangina Zoophilia doesn't always involve hyoomans
- Not4chan
- Zeta toy
- ZOO: The Movie It was bound to happen sooner or later.
- Wiki for kraut dogfuckers
Zoophile is part of a series on Bad things to happen to animals
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Basic Concepts
Furry • Bestiality • Taxidermy • Animal Abuse |
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Opposing Concepts and Causes
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BestiLOLity in Action
Poeticirony • Crusadercat • Darkhorseman • Dracoguard • Esachasa • Mr. Hands • WolfJLupus • Chibiabos • Charles-wolfman • ShadoWolffess • Snover • Skylos • Marry Your Pet • Neuticles.com • Dalhusky • Cory Williamson • Abbie Hawkins | |
Why We Don't Have Nice Things
Alcohol • Alisa Kuzmenko • Michael Vick, a.k.a. Ron Mexico • Camrose Cat Killers • Chevy the Therapy Dog • Cheyenne Cherry • City glitter • LinktheWolf • Staredog • Tinkebell • Wang Jeu • Zeriara • Zippocat • NEDM • David Motari • "Mudkips" the cat • Bonsai Kitten • Japanese Bug Fights • Heaven • Kenny Glenn • Travis the Killer Chimp • Tyler Weinman • Marvin Morvan and Alex Teniola |
