BUY A SHIRT!
The ED TShirt Shop is open for business! THE WINNER OF THE TSHIRT CONTEST IS UP FOR SALE IN THE STORE! GET THEM BEFORE THEY RUN OUT! Click here to shop.



AnonIB

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
AnonIB
 ?
Foundation May 2006
Major Boards Teens No Rules, Scene V3, Stickam Girls and Cam Sluts, bookchan
Epic Wins board hosting, great porn not anymore, lol
Website AnonIB

Contents

Introduction

Established in May 2006 by boy genius Alphabet, AnonIB became one of the leading "new /b/'s" following the original /b/'s downfall on August 23, 2006. It quickly rose to become become one of the interweb's leading image dumps, specializing in furry, yiff, CP and wall to wall fail. Despite its questionable content and mentally handicapped userbase, the site ran smoothly for nearly two years, until The Supreme Fucktard Mindpoop took over administration and decided to buttfuck its userbase for the lulz.

On April 1st 2008, AnonIB was blackbagged by the party van, largely due to Mindpoop's unbelievable faggotry. The original site vanished into the ether, resulting in the tragic loss of over 9,000 child pr0n boards. Millions of pedophiles were left homeless in ensuing chaos, which is now known to be linked to the economic recession currently gripping the world. The New Improved AnonIB finally returned around July 2008, with perverts and furfags scrambling to recreate their pedo-boards before The man could assrape them again.

Fully updated with computer-destroying pop-ups and batshit crazy moderators, AnonIB now functions as the final cesspool for all of the shit generated by 4chan and its rivals. Every gross, disgusting, tired old meme to ever grace the tubes eventually finds its way to AnonIB (along with the masturbating fucktards who originally posted them). Individual boards cater to a wide range of interests relating to naked children and barnyard animals. By far the most popular board is Mindpoop's very own Teens No Rules (TNR) which manages to combine the two areas in ways never before imagined, even in Your mum's sickest fantasies.


Memorable Quotes

Posting a legitimate complaint on New Suggestions will result in prompt action from AnonIB's extremely mature and highly trained moderation staff:

 
“ 		 
You expect us to act professionally? this is a free image board, not a fortune 500 company. You don't pay us and we don't get paid so piss off.
  		„
 

 
“ 		 
Fuck I hate these idiots why doesn't anyone read board rules.
  		„
 

 
“ 		 
We are not your friend, we are not your family. We are the mods we enforce the rules and deal with your bullshit. we can say what ever we want and troll you all we want.
  		„
 

 
“ 		 
We have to put up with your bullshit, being snippy a cunt comes with the job.
  		„
 

 
“ 		 
You have no idea how this site works, do you? Learn the hierarchy of AnonIB because I highly doubt God of Anon, Mindpoop, or the Global Moderators give a shit.
  		„
 

 
“ 		 
Go fuck yourself.
  		„
 

 
“ 		 
There are no rights expressed or implied on anonib. You are subject to the whims of others. Nothing irks me more than people claiming to have rights on websites they do not own.
  		„
 

— Adminyous and various global fucktards responding to user requests on the New Suggestions Board.

Board Hijacking

Due to AnonIB's crapshit security protocols, hijacking a board is amazingly simple. Hacking skills are not required; practically anyone can do it if they understand the system. As a result, AnonIB is virtually overrun with so-called "Rogue Moderators" who delight in deleting epic threads and banning users for no reason whatsoever. Naturally, the Global Mods don't give a fuck about about this kind of faggotry, and sometimes encourage hijackers to frag entire boards for the lulz (unless, of course, it happens to be one of their CP riddled tweenies boards, in which case the Globals threaten to core the offending troll with an assmallet).

Two of the worst offenders are Krazypyro77 and Adminyous, a pair of self-confessed fuckbuddies with a mutual passion for gay pr0n and board piracy. Each have a long history of assraping boards and shafting the owners, dating back to the days when the Globals could do pretty much whatever they wanted. Krazyfag's trick was to track down a successful board and assume control, taking credit for all the epic win generated by the original managers (a clear example of Krazy's pathetic need to for internet fame). Naturally, most of his hijackings ended in massive fail, due to his poor administrative skills and severe mental retardation.

Adminyous, by contrast, is just a bottom-feeding cunt who enjoys fucking people over for no reason. His prime strategy was to seek out new boards where the access codes had been left open, then alter the passwords to lock the owners out. His next step was to flood the sites with reams of ghey shit and banhammer anyone posting complaints. Being a Global at the time, he was free to play King Shit Of Turd Mountain to his heart's content, boasting on New Suggestions about what a clever little dick he truly was. Eventually, of course, he'd get tired of trolling his victims, at which point he'd simply frag the board and move onto the next one.

This shit went on for several weeks until Mindpoop returned from one of his "Cambodian holidays" and noticed that Adminyous had systematically fist-fucked half the network. As a result, the numb cunt was stripped of administrative status and most Global fags no longer have the power to terminate entire boards (except maybe Krazyfuck, who continues to pull Mindpoop's pudding to the present day). As for Adminyous, he's still cruising AnonIB's faggot-riddled back alleys, flaming n00bs and acting like a fucktard every chance he gets.

In recent weeks, the problem has accellerated as AnonIB inches steadily towards the brink of bankruptcy. Malware, trolling and piracy have become the norm; threads vanish, codewords are phished and - as always - assholes reign supreme on Anonymous ImageBoard. Not that any of that will matter once the admin finishes circumcising the site: with board creation disabled and traffic down the single digits, there won't be anything left to hijack by the end of the year. WTG, Mindpoop.

The Peon Revolution of 2009

By the beginning of January 2009, AnonIB's mentally deficient user-base was on the verge of outright rebellion. Mindpoop and his ghey fuckbuddies had assraped the site for close on twelve months and literally everyone was sick of the constant shit flooding the system. Trolls had overrun New Suggestions, SFW boards were innundated with child pr0n and servers were crashing faster than a /b/tard cums over his monitor. Requests for technical support were met with the familiar refrain of "fuck you" from the Globals, while GodOfAnon made it his business to personally buttfuck anyone who dared criticise the admin's handling of the situation. In short, AnonIB was descending into a whirling cesspool of fail - and the best part was that absolutely nobody gave a shit.

By February 2009, daily traffic took a sharp nosedive as the malware reached critcal mass. AnonIB was blacklisted by both Google and IE due to trojans, pop-ups and related shit, the final result being that users began deserting the site by the hundreds. The entire network became a ghostown overnight; the only boards seeing the slightest profit were those of the "child friendly" variety. As usual, the admin denied any wrongdoing during this treadmill of faggotry, blatantly denying that any problem even existed. Within days, a full-blown flame war broke out on New Suggestions as users demanded improvements and the Globals defended their god-given right to flush AnonIB down the shit-tube. The arguments usually went something like this:

The standoff came to a head when Mindpoop himself weighed in on the argument, stating that the site probably would do better without all the AIDS-infested popups. This seemed to pacify the peons to some degree: n00bs and oldfags alike rejoiced across the entire web, celebrating AnonIB's impending liberation from the malware tyranny. And so matters stood until word got 'round that Mindpoop no longer actually owned the site - and that subsequently, nothing the lying fuck said was worth jack shit at the best of times.

Unknown to everyone, GodofAnon had been in control of The World's Shittiest Chan since December 2008. Like his predecessor, GOA proved to be an arrogant cunt-wad more concerned with sticking blow up his nose than running an imageboard. His first act was to crush the Peon Revolution by erasing everything on the New Suggestions board and posting a general sticky telling the userbase to go fuck itself: "There will ALWAYS be advertisements on AnonIB, you worthless FAGGOTS. This ISN'T a democracy and you DON'T have any say in how this site is run. If you don't like the pop-ups, then that's TOUGH SHIT, isn't it? Download greasemonkey or piss off somewhere else, you whining assholes!!1!!"

AnonIB went offline the following week.


AnonIB Terms of Service

"We support any Board engaged in, promoting, linking to, or having apparent links to the following:

Children under 18 may should be posted on any NSFW board. All images must contain nudity; anything else will result in an instant ban."

Staff tolerance of child pornography

A troll who terrorized Renchan/Flatchan (another den of pedophiles) was banned from Teens No Rules for trolling one thread about a pissed off ex-boyfriend who releases pictures of this skater chick he was fucking, then gets posters remorse and begs to have them taken down.

Judge Dredd, global mod and mod of TNR, had him banned. Party_shaker waves a board exploit over his head and tells him to remove the ban or he'll squeel about it in IRC. Before his ban is (wisely) removed, he actually condones child porn being posted on TNR: 

(09:06:47 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: Well, two things..
(09:06:49 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: one
(09:06:58 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: Youre comment was incorrect
(09:07:03 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: while in theory
(09:07:06 PM) party_shaker: thats a matter of opinion
(09:07:09 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: tnr is for teens
(09:07:09 PM) party_shaker: but ok
(09:07:15 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: just wait
(09:07:17 PM) party_shaker: ok
(09:07:51 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: the nsfw boards cannot contain anyone KNOWN to be under 18, even if they are clothed
(09:07:57 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: thats not my rule
(09:08:06 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: thats the site owner/admin rule
(09:08:14 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: i agree that
(09:08:34 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: the majority of the girls posted are 15-18
(09:08:41 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: and im fine with that
(09:08:43 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: but
(09:08:58 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: if its KNOWN that they are -18, it has to be removed
(09:09:01 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: second
(09:09:11 PM) party_shaker: i'm a troll? lol, thanks.
(09:09:18 PM) AnonJudgeDredd: I'll tell mindpoop about the software glitch

How to Troll AnonIB

Trolling AnonIB's Global Moderators is almost ridiculously simple. Just go to the New Suggestions Board and do any of the following:

  • Claim that you are an underage girl whose nude photos have been plastered all over one of AnonIB's numerous child pr0n boards. Be very careful not to mention which board or provide any otherwise 'useful' information.
  • Pretend to be Chris L. Hanssen and write a long, childish message complaining that someone is harassing you. Utter chaos will ensue for at least six hours, because everyone absolutely hates this guy (Note: this particular Chris Hanssen is NOT the man with the seat).
  • Post a batshit crazy message threatening legal action if Teens No Rules isn't shut down by last Thursday. Follow up with some samefag replies supporting the idea.
  • Tell Krazypyro he's an illiterate cunt.
  • Announce to the world that the Global Mods are a bunch of lazy, incompetent faggots, then apply for KrazyPyro's job on the grounds that at least you can read English.
  • Complain that the NSFW sites don't load in IE. This will get you banned until the next Ice Age for some reason.
  • Post a picture of Patrick Stewart (who is bald) onto any board you come across, then report it to the Global Mods as CP (Captain Pickard, gettit?).
  • BAAAAWWWWW that you were unfairly banned from some any board. This will generate a lulzfest of titanic proportions.
  • Pretend to be some crapshit DA fan artist whose work has been posted to AnonIB without permission. For extra lulz, say that your copyright notice has been deliberately removed, and that you'll be taking legal action if the pics aren't taken down immediately (NB: be sure to mention that your uncle is a big city lawyer, this is practically mandatory on AnonIB).

Trolling Individual Boards

  • Fanime Imageboard - a totally CRAPSHIT fanart board with a batshit crazy mod. These pricks are practically begging to be trolled, as demonstrated by the message posted at the top of the page: "THIS IS NOT 4CHAN. TROLLS, FLAMERS AND OTHER FAGGOTS WILL BE BANNED FOR THE SHIT THAT THEY ARE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ARTWORK, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT." Be sure to tell them that their "art" sucks like Ann Coulter going down on Bill O'Reilly and that even DA shows more creativity.
  • Troll the metalfags on Metalchan by turning on CRUISE CONTROL and reminding them that only inbred hillbillies and retards still listen to metal. For maximum butthurt make threads about how nu metal and metalcore "revolutionized" the genre.

Differences from 4/b/

Unlike /b/, which is a single imageboard, AnonIB is actually a host for hundreds of image boards which are divided up into individual /b/tard interests such as yiffing, ebooks, tits, and invasions. It should be noted that AnonIB allows users to create their own boards, thus new furry porn boards were created every week, for users who couldn't put their hand on the mouse long enough to scroll down. Someone is also mirroring 4chan's "/k/ - Weapons" board. Noone knows why.

TeensNoRules

The most popular NSFW image boards hosted on AnonIB is the "_TeensNoRules", and Scene_v3 (complete with underscore for 1337 edginess). On this board you will find a plethora of misguided teenage girls, horny old men and CP spammers. Really, its like /b/, but with less memes and more dead-eyed, stoic masturbation. (Back online) Disregard that, nothing to see here except the Partyvan.

Status, updates, downtime and v&

  • Downtime as of April 25: The hoster where the new server is located at wanted $20k a month for bandwidth bills and pulled the site.
  • As of May 1st, 2008, AnonIB is up again although without backups. AnonibAdmin##LOL## stated that they got v& and the FBI has their hard drives due to their hosting company suspecting that CP had been posted on the server. This spells certain doom for all patrons of the site, both past and present.
  • May 1st, 2009: Almost one year to the day since the New Improved AnonIB returned under Mindshit, the entire network goes offline once more. A veritable shitstorm erupts across the interweb as furries and pedofags alike bemoan the loss of their sick fuck porno boards. Rumors instantly begin circlating that the Van has blackbagged AnonIB for the second time. GodOfAnon eventually claims that they're simply changing servers to improve quality of service ruin the site beyond all hope of repair.
  • May 5th 2009: MindPoopTOS, the global admin responsible for turning AnonIB into a cesspool, has killed the site, redirected all AnonIB addresses to mindpoop.com, and has stated that, while the site will be the "new anonIB", there will be "no more user created boards" and that "Teens No Rules will not be remade". This means that, effective as of May 5th 2009, anonIB as it was known is dead and gone. DISREGARD THAT!!! THEY'RE BACK (TEMPORARILY)!!!
  • May 8th 2009: According to information posted at Websiteoutlook.com, AnonIB's daily traffic has been falling steadily since December 2008, took a sharp nosedive around February 2009, and is now at an all-time low with the site completely offline. Appears that that GodofAnon and The Butthurt Squad are determined to drive the entire site into the sewer by the end of the year. Well, that's only to be anticipated: what else can one expect from an admin composed entirely of trolls and faggots?
  • May 14th 2009: More AnonIB faggotry: the transfer is finally complete, the boards are back up - and site is STILL complete and utter SHIT. Despite GOA's assurances of a MASSIVE IMPROVEMENT under the new servers, absolutely nothing has changed. In fact, things seem even worse than before: boards are twice as slow, images aren't uploading and the whole fucking site has been vanishing for hours at a time! Fighting a losing battle here, guise. This has to be one of the most spectacular examples of EPIC FAIL ever seen on the intertubez.
Yay for new owners!
Yay for new owners!
Great!
Great!

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR ANONIB PEDOPHILES

Opera automatically blocks all the ads and malware that AnonIB forces past IE and Failfox. Until you get v&, enjoy your pr0n in peace.

See Also

External Links



AnonIB is part of a series on
*chan       
Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.   
This article is a stub. You can help by expanding it.
Retrieved from "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/AnonIB"
Personal tools
Link to this