Ateaseweb
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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NOTE: THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN ALMOST ENTIRELY BY TWO MEMBERS OF ATEASE; BOXCARS AND KID A/MNESIAC.
Ateaseweb.com is a fansite for the band Radiohead. Its messageboard is one of the largest on the internets. Though its origins are somewhat shrouded in mystery, it is known to date back to at least 2000. It boasts an extremely diverse and developed community, however dysfunctional.
There are three types of people on Atease: those who post strictly in the main forum and worship Radiohead members' various body parts, those who post strictly in the other music forum and compulsively create lists to prove their musical nerdiness, and those who stay mostly in general chat and are obsessed with pwning one another (genchat is also home to countless intelligent but disaffected teenagers who are really into sarcasm and outverbalizing each other). Naturally, there are many exceptions, but it's impressive how long this format has stayed pretty much unchanged despite a lot of turnover.
Despite being one of the largest music forums on the internet, Atease is also one of the most poorly moderated mostly thanks to Goudvis, also known as THE FACIST or Hitler's mother.
[Obviously though, Atease isn't one of the largest music forums on the internet. Some Radiohead fanboy just put that there to make himself feel better about his precious waste of space. Like how every forum with more than 500 users claims to be 'one of the most active on teh netz'.
The Rise and Fall of Yifan Guo
Yifan Guo is a tragic misanthrope. As one of the original Ateasers, this strange convergence of neurotic blogger and tenacious troll has employed an arsenal of china-related aliases, all focused on two final goals: to disrupt racial harmony (he's azn, lol) and to get some advice on boning hot chicks.
Yifan is perhaps the most oft-banned Ateaser. From his genesis as DetunedRadio, to his rebirth as Warchild, and in his latest incarnation as Starlight, the guy has never seen fit to modify his approach or post his picture in Mugshots. As a consequence, pwners (not likely) known as Boxcars and Robert C Mackle teamed up with co-conspiracist (he's azn, lol) Ocin to conduct the most lukewarm of all pwnings. An alias was registered, in the form of HerSpaceResearch - a female Chinese love interest who would either make or break Yifanchan once and for all. The name Lin Yao was selected by Boxcars, alongside pictures contributed by Ocin of some random azn chick from MySpace. Yifan fell for Boxcars' and Mackle's affectionate posts and Ocin's suggestive PMs, and soon enough declared his love for the fictional creation. Pictures, phone numbers, and sexually-charged stories were exchanged, and when the time came for the Big Reveal, Boxcars chickened out and suggested that Yifan never discovered the extent of the deception. Ocin however had other plans, revealing everything but the pictures (which we wrongly assumed were fakes) and forcing yifan into a self-imposed exile of shame.
It was a long time before Yifan returned, and Mackle and Boxcars bridged the gap by registering new aliases in Yifan's honor. For a while, ComotoseBunnyButcher and WenJiabao provided (barely) passable Yifan impersonations until the little guy (he'z asn, lol) saw it fit to return. At this time, Boxcars and Yifan had formed a somewhat parasitical relationship on MSN, in the form of Boxcars' penance for being so downright nasty. During these bonding sessions, Boxcars finally discovered that the Yifan pictures in his possession were actually genuine, and also managed to accumulate a further 3 pictures, 2 of which he posted on Atease during his short-lived work as the Rogue Moderator Rorschach (when Yifan was once again in need of pwning).
Rorschach
Rorschach was an alias created by Boxcars, named after an Alan Moore comic book character. The alias was designed as a more up-market sort of pwner; a prophet of doom who would 'cleanse' the nastier ateasers of their online sins by finding their Achilles heels and exploiting them. By refraining from talking about 'pwning' and acting in a troll-like fashion, Rorschach was able to survive a week, during which certain stupid Ateasers began to see him as a genuine threat. Viva Hate and Kathleen befriended the masked avenger on MSN and pleaded with him to cleanse long-time-irritant JustSomeFamilyFun, and Nattielight cleaned up his act (albeit temporarily) when Rorschach threatened to post Nattielight's number on a network of transsexual dating sites. The consistently boring and pretentious Saiken vowed to leave Atease (and MSN Messenger) forever, when Rorschach posted his picture and revealed him to be 14 years old; and images of Yifan holding up a sign saying "ATEASE" were posted for the first time, and for once their authenticity was undeniable.
Robert C Mackle was also faked-cleansed once Boxcars revealed his identity to his pwning buddy on MSN. Silly Chat-logs were posted with Mackle pretending to be a homosexual, which made people question the validity of Rorschach's previous efforts. At this point, Baptist intervened and banned the alias. A new Rorschach account has since been registered, and applicants are currently being screened to play the role of the crusading Rogue Moderator.
Jaunty Angle
marting (intentional lower case m) is a big gay, roflcoptor.
iluvanal
He loves anal.
Operation Turtle Burger
Late last year a strange user appeared called operation turtle burger. Nobody knows who this mysterious figure is, but what we do know is they spawned a song of the same name, written and composed by maple tree. In her own words "it's awesome and a mix of styles from 70s cop show to bhangra". No one would disagree.
Ash
As of July 2006, this weird little dude (aka twenty-two-year-old Aaron of Minnesota) has accumulated over 40,000 posts in about three years, making him by far the top poster on Atease. Obsessed with monkeys, ducks, and the absurd, his life is one neverending pursuit of a larger postcount. His posts are mostly incoherent, frequently brilliant messes of puns and alliteration peppered with obscure pop culture references (ex-pop star Aaron Carter, band Super Furry Animals, and actor Crispin Glover are a few of his fixations). In late 2006, he was banned after attempting to bypass flood control through multi-browser browsing. To further humiliate him, Ade had his postcount reduced to one. However, he easily bypassed the ban, and still posts on atease under several aliases, Dr. Lime/Evil Dad Ash 3/Abu. He has suggested that he may have his name changed to Abuladdin, Aladdin, and din. He is currently sporting a massively unattractive beard.
This is his YouTube channel, where he makes videos for his homemade music.
Leaving atease
Many users deem it necessary to have themselves deleted from atease permanently. Radiohead fans genetically lack the ability to quit stuff using their own free will. Cock tease Mannequin left atease for good and had her account deleted. She was spotted over the next few days on various messageboards over the world wide web, including gaia online and the honda s2000 forums. Unfortunately due to not being 11 and her lack of an s2000 she was unable to integrate herself into these communities and eventually came crawling back. She returned to atease 3 days after leaving as wilson the volleyball. Other members who have left atease only to soon return include The Ghost Of 'Lectricity, Viva Hate, and a few others.
Soliciting Minors
It has become common practice on atease for male members to try to solicit nude pictures from the teenage girls that currently plague atease. As you would expect, the most common offenders are those who scream pedo at other guys for pointing out that people under 30 are sometimes hot. Unfortunately, as of this date, no members have been successful in achieving the holy grail of internet perverts everywhere. Often when such advances for pictures are not met members often lash out and harass the female users even more. Male members often try to use their own genitalia to persuade the youngsters to part with their precious nudes. Many users believe nexus6 used the LEGSFROMHELL to solicit noods from Pokeh, but again, this is JUST CONJECTURE
Penis Pix
Genchat has seen an incredible volume of male genitalia pictures in its time. Sexually frustrated Ateasers such as Viva Hate, kid8, Polvo del Coyote, Scottish Dude, and most recently, transdimensional, have for whatever fucking reason felt compelled to take pictures of their penes and post them on the messageboard (though they are occasionally leaked by the females whom these guys intended to woo). Transdimensional was sold out by the user meisadumb1 when she leaked the pics into an msn group conversation. Much hilarity ensued with people posting the link here, there, and everywhere. Notable troll boxcars suggested seducing transdimensionals mum, who posts on atease under the alias weird fishee, and showing her own sons cock to her whilst passing it off as his own. Sad sick fuck.
Ramshackle
On July 7, 2003, during Radiohead's Hail to the Thief Tour, a fan on the messageboard registered the alias "freedom for Palestine" and began posting bomb threats for the show in Bergamo, Italy that night. The matter was investigated by authorities, who identified a messageboard user known as "ramshackle". Unfortunately, soon after, the messageboard suffered a major crash and all post data was lost. "Ramshackle" was apprehended, tried, and incarcerated for 2 months. No shit.
Adriaan
No one really knows whether the apparent owner of the board Adriaan actually exists. Affectionately known as 'ade' or 'that dutch bastard' around the board, the true identity of Atease's first member remains uncertain. Amongst other theories, atease member Sebadohead recently stated that Adriaan was nothing more than "Pins dressed as a man". Some say he sleeps upside down wearing only a kilt and that he only eats small Filipino boys. Most likely he is merely another alias. Ade is a supremely clueless and inapt site admin, who's let the site decay into its current state slow servers, porn ads, and penis pix.
Goudvis
Goudvis began his slow and treacherous climb up the atease shit pile sometime in 04. He soon garnered popularity in the community for being "that quirky carrot fucker" and charmed many women/girls/toddlers into e-marrying him. In mid 06, it was suggested that a new moderator be added to the roster of the almost entirely non-existent atease staff, and Goudvis campaigned (unopposed) for this position. Eventually, Ade woke up long enough to grant Goudvis moderator status. Despite not actually moderating the place, Goudvis still wanted more power, and was made admin by late 07. This move sparked anger amongst the users of atease, but Goudvis found reason to ban them before they could speak out. Currently, he leaves the site almost entirely unmoderated, save for a few arbitrary bannings and thread locks every few weeks. The last rebels seceded when their leader, JohnnyMarr, had a mental breakdown, cut his hair, and pulled a Holden Caufield. As of now, Goudvis has accepted his fate as the hated admin, and continues to ban certain member repeatedly, while lying about numerous aspects of his adminship to escape menial tasks such as name changing.
Goudvis has attracted notoriety for decreeing that all Radiohead fans and Atease forum members must share his PC liberal/left political views. Certain topics or even the mention of 'offensive' words such as 'black' or 'muslim' were enough to get the offenders unceremoniously banned. In the summer of 2008 he became embroiled in controversy when the infamous 'Southie' posted a succession of racist diatrabes against white people. In one thread she called for the extermination of all white people in Africa. When it was pointed out to Goudvis that inciting genocide was a serious breach of International law, let alone the terms and conditions of Atease, he simply refused to even moderate the threads in question and instead banned anyone who objected to her.
In late 2008 the glorious Fuhrer Goudvis, champion of race and nation, heroicly supressed the winter rebels in an uprising against At Ease poster boy Nexus. Nexus - who has served At Ease for many years, and never ever touched a child in an inappropriate way - was attacked entirely without reason by almost EVERYONE on At Ease, entirely coincidently. Heroic leader Goudvis stepped in to action, banning members high and low, at the expense of his own popularity and respect. Not that he had either.
Nadine
Back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, few would have predicted that Nadine would grow up to be a fully fledged wannabe Azn girl, frantically searching for a place in the history books as the person who finally invents a cure for the dreaded cancer. But 100 years later, Nadine is close to achieving this, and with the help of some furry friends might very soon by one of the leading scientists of all time. How has Nadine done this? Well with every post she makes, ten American Canadian dollars goes towards Cancer Research, and she is now only two thousand posts off making enough money to cure this miserable disease. The rest of the atease community cheers her on, and are happy to encourage her to post post and post. Go Nadine, a true Taiwanese legend. Notable sayings -
- GUYS WHAT?
- GUYS C'MON
- OMG WHAT
- WHAT HELL?
- OMG
- WHAT FUCK?
Sean the Black Bastard
Sean is a black bastard who posts evenly across most forums. He is famous for being the only black Radiohead fan in the world.
Viddy
The mere fact that you're reading this article is damaging your reputation. Please leave now and stop googling your board name.
BreathOfTheMorning
Breathofthemorning/john has been registered to Atease sinse the release of "In Rainbows" Radioheads 7th Studio album. John, started out his life as a Troll, and he finally climbed his way up the ranks of atease after many disagreements with certain Ateasers. He now takes refuge in the controversial clique 'MPINE' (Meeting People Is Not Easy). He now stands there up with the finest ateasers.
eat the sun
Banned during The Great Bannings of 08, she was an early member of the popular and now semi-defunct mpine. She will go down as the third biggest troll in atease history with 19 spam threads and 31 thread breaks, which is directly quoted from the overlord Goudvis. Many rejoiced in her martyrdom and declared that they had "never seen main so fucked."
NoNeedlessNoise
His name is Josh and he is annoying 21 year old boy. He is so full of himself and obsessed by having a girlfriend. He changes girlfriends more then normal people change socks. Every week he has a new girlfriend and he is incredibly shallow. All he ever talks about is finding a new girlfriend or problems with current or how he hates his job. He even said why he is not in Encyclopedia Dramatica because he thinks he's more interesting and important then people already mentioned here. He recently tried to change his name to Nantes to be cool like everyone else, but quickly changed it back because no one knew who he was.
Wierd Fishee
Wierd Fishee sold her house and moved her entire family to Oxford, for reasons she claims had nothing to do with the fact that it is the home of Radiohead. While there, she divorced her husband because she fell in love with a mysterious musician she refers to as her "soul mate" or her "boyfriend"--despite the fact that she does not have and has never had a relationship with this person. For over a year she has said that they will hopefully be together "soon". Because she met her self-described soul mate the exact same day she met Thom Yorke, because her posts detailing her encounters with her soul mate closely resemble her posts detailing running into Thom Yorke, and because she interprets every song Thom has written since they met to be about the narrator leaving behind his stifling relationship for a new lover, many have come to the conclusion that Wierd Fishee is a mentally ill stalker who believes Thom is in love with her. Wierd Fishee will hurl insults and threats when her beloved Thom is slighted in any fashion, and because she is pathologically lacking in self-awareness will react with an air of wounded martyrdom when she is attacked because people believe she is implying that Thom is a scumbag who gets his bandmates together to write a concept album about wanting to fuck another woman which he then performs in front of his longterm partner and their children. She is the mother of ateaser transdimensional.
Atease Couples
Atease has brought together a surprising number of couples, some of whom have traveled thousands of miles to meet and fuck each other. A few examples:
- Pablito and lightningscar
- Radioskull and blackstar
- redmilk and Sebadohead
- fragile and paranoid
- rainwater and Clinto Yug
- shimbot and the dude (now married)
- Dark Heat and cherricola
- Scott Walker and Ocin/Joanna and Kathleen (first board threesome)
- May-May and Faithless
- Sabby and smoothjimmyapollo
- thescottishdude and mameryn and magic shed (at the same time)
- Sabby and Rob (What Would Brian Boitono Do?)
- pins and crap
- Knickers and itwasaristocratV
- Nanakey and skinny_antenna
- Marr and eat the sun
Paranoid and fragile
Paranoid and fragile enjoyed a long distance relationship for a few years, stemming from paranoids initial stalking of her. The relationship was strained when fragile went to college and started having threesomes with random strangers though, paranoid read all about her antics on her LiveJournal, and subsequently started emo-ing about all over atease. Their relationship broke up for a trial week, where fragile fucked some more random strangers and paranoid continued to emo about. It all culminated in the Ex-girlfriends....in Black Civics thread, paranoid repeatedly stating that fragile had his email so she could contact him if need be. Also, as JERMZ the Argentinian indie boy said, PARANOID IS GHEY!
Silverion
Silverion is a 25-year-old retard from Middle England who comes out with this sort of crap:
This is essentially related to the last thread of mine. Since that went into crapism with the usual overlong posts that are spam and idiots posting without actually saying anything... The point stands that people always try to find groups that are most close to them. Trying to find a mould. I always used to say i will not be a sheep. I will not look for my own mould. The group of people who are most close to my own sence of personality. So many friendships people form that are shallow and dont mean all that much. Based on how much you have in common with others. Well everyone knows opposites attract. Everyone also knows that a few friends formed over time mean more then a dosen friends formed over a matter of weeks. This is what i mean by cliques. And no. I am not part of a clique unless you would name it as an anti clique. Which i guess i am. But thats better then a bunch of friends who stab you in the back as soon as you start to change. So does anyone here know what i am trying to say?
gertruda_1 / Mabel Rose / veggiemite
gertruda_1 is a 26 year old obese Croatian troll. She writes angry posts in terrible English about how men suck, and how she thinks that every man she has ever met is evil. The only boyfriend she ever had was a fellow obese Croatian troll called Ivan. Despite her hatred of men, Gertruda desperately wants to have a boyfriend. However, she will never achieve this dream, since the actual problem is that men think she is evil, rather than the other way around. Similarly, she professes her hate for ateaseweb and everyone in it yet continues to frequent the board and annoy everyone with her posts. Most agree this is because her life is one big depressing and pathetic Croatian trainwreck. Gertruda picks up leaves in a park for a living and regularly complains about how poor she is. However, she somehow manages to afford music and video games, and of course the huge amounts of junk food that are required to maintain her disgustingly high body weight. She is famous for seeking out topics with "penis", "vagina" and "anal" in the title, entering them and reading all the posts, then posting her disgust at having to read such filth and subsequently reporting the topics to Goudvis to delete. There are rumors that she bribes Goudvis by sending him naked photos of herself (Goudvis apparently has a fetish for obese trolls).
2004
In May of 2004, ateaseweb.com's messageboard saw a surge of users due to Radiohead's performance as promoters for the Coachella festival. There was another crash, with many boardies left in disarray without postcounts and familiar aliases to fall back on. When the board was reestablished later that month, users were required to provide an e-mail address, which led to a noticeable decrease in offensive aliases. 2004 was also the year the impressively original phrase "my god, you are ugly" became rampant throughout the messageboard as a form of trolling. In response, it became a joke to retort "say what you will, I'm not ashamed of my face." What's wrong's the wrong that's always in wrong. Also, fans started suggesting that "Punch Up is JUST RIPE to be a 10-15 Live Jam!", parodying Radiohead's guitarist Jonny Greenwood's comments on jamming as "mutual masturbation." There was a series of completely useless online petitions started to support this cause. All of them failed. Fucking emo dumbasses.
2005
It was in 2005 that a plot to destroy the jed...I mean the ateasers, was uncovered. All signs point to the evil Mortigi Tempo as being the source of the destruction. Multiple Atease crashes have left the ateasers scattered and alone, but a few brave soldiers have taken it upon themselves to annihilate the evil MT from the inside by making it the opposite of what it is: interesting and witty. The task proved to be easier than previously thought. MT seemed to lay down its arms immediately, the beauty and originality of the ateasers blinding their putrid souls.
As the rebuilding of their kingdom continues, real life awaits all ateasers. May it be swell.
2007
After the non-entity that was 2006, atease sparked back into life in 2007 with some truly memorable threads.
Notable users included hellobidies, and his relationship with plasma agitator, KidA/mnesiac becoming the first person to have two threads simultaneously in classics, ragdoll and her inevitable death, as well as the slow, sad decline of wierd fishee into her mental breakdown.
In actual fact, a user, drea, did die at the age of 29 of a stroke. No shit.
2008
2008 began slowly, with many notable users (Kathleen, JohnnyMarr, rainwater, TomorrowsCat, Polvo del Coyote, September) leaving, and several being banned (ReCreeper, Kid A/mnesiac). With these important pillars of the atease community missing, gen chat soon fell under control of the "dirty mind group". This group, initiated in late '07 by an influx of new users hyping out over In Rainbows, is known for it's overuse of emoticons, and obsession with anal sex. Atease is currently held together by MPINE, a chat thread in which almost every single "important" ateaser now posts. This thread (pronounced M-Pine), was created by the man known as "Doity." Doity left atease for known reason, but most believe the legend he lurks around trying to find "Pumpkin Eater." New and promising faces to emerge from the gen chat scene include TheBreathOfTheMorning (AKA Jaunty Jr.), Pretty Patterns (AKA "The Replacement Kathleen"), NoNeedlessNoise (An incredibly annoying 21-year-old who makes an obscene amount of needless noise), superdave (Posts controversial images on mugshots), vodka1 (he's gay), iluvanal (he loves anal), irondragons (dealing with puberty), eat the sun (easily angered), and the.eraser (has a great accent).
Genchat has recently undergone something of a revival. Stalwarts johnnymarr and kid/amnesiac (now posting under the moniker I Like To Iron) are now posting regularly again, as well as other boarders such as the king left becoming more amusing. Izzi and Plasma Agitator are generally now considered to have a monopoly on being the hot girls of genchat, now that all of the other girls have left; neither of them seem flattered at all.
A minor stir was caused in late September, when it was revealed that Winsley and Bidies had resumed their relationship.
The November Purge
Late 2008 bought dark times for At Ease, with the 'November Purge' gutting gen-chat of many of it's best members. The controversy was bought about by facist overlord Goudvis siding with unpopular pedophile Nexus and clueless forigner Gertuda regarding several incidents of 'bullying'. By several, I actually mean a continued campaign of harassment lasting well over a year, however the fact is neither of them are very good people and probably (certainly) deserve to be bullied. None the less, the November Purge has robbed At Ease of freedom of speech and expression, and the formally jovial realm of gen-chat is now one of oppression and sadness. Amongst others, members banned or suspended during the crisis included Alan, Psycho, mathsislife, Barry28, Crispin Alexander, Capt Monterey Jack, Disinterested and Charles Haywire. This led to a horiffic backlash; Eat The Sun invaded and conquered main, crippling the community that blossomed there. Some say main is yet to truly recover from the events, and Eat The Sun earnt a lifetime ban from At Ease in retalation from Goudvis. The sheer volume of moderative activity during the crisis - which many rightly considered to be totally unjustified - resulted in widespread calls for the resignition of carrot-fuck-head Goudvis, and more extreme members have even called for his death.
As we moved into the second half of November, the spirit of revolution still hung in the air, though the coup seemed to have been called off. Almost all of the banished At Easers have returned in some shape or form, and life in general chat is continuing much the same as it was a month ago - the one notable absense being that of the infamous :nexus: smiley. Popular thing on Atease is to publish private msn conversations on Atease and for that is two days suspension by Goudvis.
On November 19th, Goudvis upped the ante. Within a matter of days he'd deleted the accounts of board favourite I Like To Iron, as well as the legendery rebel Eat The Sun (who later returned as angelene) and noted faghat Yakabe. Despite half a dozen attempts, Yakabe was never able to regain the respect of GenChat without a 2000-strong post-count as /b/lackup, and eventually went into exile. A board precedent was set shortly afterwards when Crazy Disco Party successfully contested a thread deletion, regarding some self-harm images. It is now thought that the revolution is back on, with Sean the most likely candidate for our new glorious leader.
December, 2008: AT EASE OFFICIALLY SUCKS
On 30th November, 2008, the ALPM (Average Lulz Per Post) of At Ease fell below zero. In Gen-Chat the average topic was clocking in at zero Lulz, where as the average reply was garnering between -3 and 2 Lulz. The situation was far more dire in Main - particularly following the notorious invasion of Eat The Sun - where some post s had been deprived of Lulz for up to several months. This meant that for the first time At Ease had officially entered as Lulz-recession.
As if to signify the new low for At Ease, on November 30th Polls began appearing in the sites ad space entitled “DO YOU LIKE COLDPLAY?” Most of Atease secretly worship Coldplay and have accounts on coldplaying.com. But on Atease they talk trash about Coldplay.
Causes & Blame
Goudvis: It could be argued that the Lulz-recession is almost entirely a by-product of Goudvis’ general dickery over the last 6-12 months, the last month and a half being particularly poor even for him. At Ease has now entered a climate of fear and self-moderation unprecedented on the cosy forum, with even the smallest and most jovial of Lul-inducing-gags (IE, :nexus: ) being well known as grounds for banishment. This is precisely the improper environment for Lulz to occur. Several of the reliably hilarious At Easer’s, including Crazy Discography Panties and Alan have been doing their best to manage throughout the crisis, but it is harder being funny today than it was yesterday. Goudvis made matters worse towards the end of The November Purge with a number of unsubstantiated account deletions, at least one of which was motivated purely by a personal attack against Goudvis (apparently Yakabe said he was ‘like the girl with AIDs who shows up to the Christmas party wearing no underwear‘). I Like To Iron - twat - was the first victim of such a deletion. As was the case in each deletion of this type, every thread or post by the deleted user disappeared along with them. This led to the disappearance of several classic/necessary threads, including The Weekly X Factor Discussion group and “Colin Is In My Back Garden”.
AIDe: As site-admin, it should be Ade’s responsibility to police Goudvis and all of his general dickery. Unfortunately his absenteeism has made this impossible, and rendered Goudvis untouchable as site fascist. Ade is also clearly to blame for the phenomenally poor advertising permanently occupying At Ease, as well as it’s shittylicious news page.
Radiohead 2008 Tour Aftermath: It could be argued that the Lulz-recession is based purely around Radiohead’s activity as a band, considering they are the forums main subject. One could quite easily argue that the 2008 tour led to an influx of new members, many of which are now posting either far less or not at all as the band's level of activity drops. This argument can be deflected, however, with the simple phrase “Goudvis is a tosspot.”
Government Bail-Out Package = DENIED
On Feb 21st, 2009, it was announced that Ateasewebs request for 22 Billion Lulz, needed to help it survive the lulz recession, was DENIED. It is now thought to be only a matter of time before News/Anyone Can Play Radiohead collapse under the weight of their own fucktardedness. Main, Music and Gen also desperatley need to secure some lulz or risk a similar fate.
When asked for the reasoning behind the decision to deny At Ease the bail-out package, the US Government blamed Atease's present administration and threatened to "go gulf war on his ass".
Spring Summer 2009 - the saga goes on
Atease, stuck in this funk of no lulz and fewer personalities than ever before as old boarders drift away like rats from a sinking ship, or a stinking shit, or some such, continues to decline. Radiohead almost completely forgotten except in main (they eat babies and smell) and Anyone Can Play Guitar (god knows, trust me boys), genchat succumbs to a bunch of cunts and a bunch of even bigger cunts, leaving the whole place in ridiculous excess of cunts. Ironically, one of the best boarders at this time is called Cunty C Cunterson. Well whaddaya know.
Controversy
Many Ateasers are involved directly or indirectly with The Pork King. This has raised fears that Atease will be unable to comply with government subsidized funding regulations and that they may spiral downwards, instead of the widely regarded and well respected, 90 degree angle. The Pork King has denounced any involvement with any members of Atease, on one occasion being quoted as saying "My good squire, I am neither involved with the good folks at Atease or am I sending them spark plugs by recorded delivery. To add to my earlier point, The Fresh Prince of Belair lost it after series one. There will be no questions, HAWZDAT?" Although nothing has been proved, it is strongly contested by Delia Smith that her chip pan fire was a direct result of Atease's failure to comply with subsidized funding regulations. This allegation is an important reminder of the importance of rawk.
"The Classics" and "Cheesecake"
There is a board that most people pretend doesn't exist, and it is The Classics board, full of obnoxious, elitist bitches who write and fap to Radiohead porn fan fiction, also known as Cheesecake. You have been warned.
Threads of Notable Idiocy
- Martin post the third person thread
- WHEAT
- CHAFF...MARK I
- the greatest board hoax ever
- The Viva Hate Q&A
- i think i'm nonsexual like a faux-moz/fakeVIVA
- I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM AND CRY
- Thrad.
- ARPEGGI!!1!!1!1!
- Let's invade the Hanson forums!
- Gay Week
- Turn On the Bright Lights vs Nevermind
- Stupid Chinese Bitch ass motherfuckers
- BIG News!!!
Notable Trolls of Atease
- Goudvis (admin
- adriaan (admin)
- the baptist (admin)
- Ash
- Viddy
- Viva Hate
- Saiken
- DetunedRadio / all manner of China-related aliases
- Jaunty Angle
- Polvo del Coyote
- justsomefamilyfun
- Mr. Pink
- Hoodlum
- Finidi/Blue Lines/Halo (Semen Scholar)
- Sean Johnston
- nadinosaur
- Ruxpin / Brenda
- Ocin
- Mannequin / Wilson The Volleyball
- Orifice
- alan
- I Like To Iron
- rainwater
- The Ghost Of 'Lectricity / Elias
- Nexus6
- maple tree
- Magic Shed
- skabadelic
- dizzee satchel
- Viddy
- JohnnyMarr
- Crazy Disco Party
- Izzi
- Plasma Agitator
- Chat
- the king left
- NoNeedlessNoise (aka Hot Dog Day #49)
- transdimensional
- Phyte
- Boxcars
- Robert C. Mackle
- stu
- Viddy
- Nattielight
- Ash-hall
- Jack Brown
- Modvac
- God / Finbar Saunders
- gertruda_1
- caelo
- o-ren
- ragdoll (deceased?)
- Question Man
- pins
- blackstar (Christopher O'Riley, pianist)
- hardlylurkin (and his drones Hamachi and Mahntoh)
- rote8
- lightningscar
- Pablito
- Saint Tito
- aspectable
- fuzzyste
- Polmol / Die
- ramshackle (when not in prison)
- Luckywolf
- Phil Selway
- Schizima
- plopsack
- hulmerist
- irondragons
- eat the sun
- Goombajawa
- Scissorlock
- Ban This Motherfuckers
- Goombajawa and Your Mother
- Son of Goombajawa
- Goombajawa Kicks Ass
- Will Quotes
- Bug
- The Real Chris Martin
- Bile
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