Basement-dweller

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Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent ugly).
Typical reaction of a basement-dweller in the outside world.

A commonly-used­­­­­ phrase that describes the socially inept: losers, Fanboys, cosplayers, nerds, slashfic authors, gamers, weeaboos, libertarians, anarchists, furfags, /b/tards, trekkies, WoW players, Ediots, Wikipedia editors, you, and most of all trolls. In other words, peo­­­ple who know that the light of day will expose them for the freaks they are; Thus,they go on ED or they dwell in their parents' basement, fapping while being ever so POLITICALLY INCORRECT :coolface: on the internet and live off pipocky and KFC.

Contents

Habitats

Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a basement, this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the facu­­lties necessary to become a contributing member of society. This includes being a twenty year old unemployed college dropout whose mother pays your rent (however, some basement dwellers will go to college and get a degree, only to return to their parents' house and fap like there is no tomorrow [see "A Confederacy of Dunces"]). Some "basement dwellers" still live in their parent's normal house as they did when they grew up, particularly if the house doesn't have a basement as is often the case in Europe and Texas. Others still live in their parent's bedroom.

Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people wh­o live with their parents for legitimate reasons. One must remember there i­­s a difference between "living with mommy", and "living off of mommy." Some examples of this include:

Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents and/or government. Most of their time is taken up masturbating to furry porn and online sex games, going to nerdish conventions, eating chees­­­­­­e doodles, and playing D&D. In addition, as completists, they spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internets, using IRC, LiveJournal, partaking in Bandwidth_envy, and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of fandom. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building yo­ur new "v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6,500k daylight fluorescent light."

How can I tell an otherwise typical lolcow is a basement-dweller?

There's a drop ceiling in the­­ir hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim. Wood paneling is also a dead giveaway.

Don't be fooled by the presence of a microwave, as the suspect's mother's kitchen can be used to throw people off the scent, but concentrate on the distinctive pallor of the individual's complexion which reveals their subterranean habitat.

A prime example of basement-dwellers and/or weeaboo dicks.

THE Basement Dweller

Basement Dweller Contemplates Breasts

Basement Dweller Explains Term from Basement Dwellers' Point-of-view

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Basement-Dwellers & Trolls

No - not internet wankers like ED and 4Chan, but the mythical creatures from Scandinavia. Symptoms include:

  • Suffering from greasy skin and warts caused by a lack of washing and living off junk food brought dow­n by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are lite­rally unable to move from in front of their computers.
  • Poor eyesight caused by the endless glare o­­­­f the computer screens.
  • Rotting teeth caused by grinding them during sex thinking about sex.
  • Poor social life brought on by virtually no IRL interaction (mom bringing you down cookies - and some more boxes of tissues - doesn't count).
  • A serious weight problem - they are either grossly bloated or hideously skinny. The ones with neckbeards are funnier, particularly when coupled with moobs.

Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually trolls, and vice-versa.

Hikikomori

引きっこもり. Japanese basement-dweller.

 
“ 		 
Hikikkomori ­­live a nocturnal life, in a deep depressive state, far from social responsibilities (sch­ool, work, family) and activities. Even sexuali­­ty is often virtually lived and connected to a sexy manga heroine.
  		„
 

—Francesco Jodice, describing the subject of his film

Interestingly enough, Hikikomori seem to feel that they've got it worse than their western counterp­arts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that Japanese culture is so simultaneously repressive and demandin­g tha­t they've never properly adap­ted t­­o­ it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public[1]. Unlike their western­ counterparts, it is estimated that more then than thon ha­­­lf of all­ Hikikkomori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more cooler while remaining anti-social losers. Male Hikikkomori may also e­xplain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their Pocky and download their shota likely beg to differ.

Rozen Maiden has a Hikikkomori as a main character. Much like Neon Genesis Evangelion before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American weeaboos latched onto the show like parasitic lamprey, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't overstacked expressionless doll-like girls, but ACTUAL DOLLS.

Max Brooks' World War Z features an hikikomori who becomes an famous hero after the Zombie Apocalypse, eh slicing off zombie heads and not afraiding anyone with the help of an old, blind, gardener. The idea that an hikikomori could ever do anything useful for anyone is the least believable element of the previous sentence.

For a lighthearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikkokomori, see the delightful shareware game, Yume Nikki. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes an hero to Hikikkomori and Weeaboo all over the world. There's also the anime "Welcome to the NHK" which is mostly noteworthy because it doesn't involve power levels and robots for once, the protagonist is a lunatic and, most importantly, unlike you he wants to change his life and not remain an inept loser by doing something.

Music

The Basement Dwellers Anthem


It is well known that #1 music for basement dwellers is by far nu metal, however they also listen to rock, pop, techno, rave, rap, video game music and sometimes emo.

Gallery

Gallery

Alternate basement setup

Typical basement-dweller looking at porn.

A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!

Wignedwolf, basement dwelling furry magickian.

Basement dweller AND a pedophile!

Congratulations graduate! Now GTFO!

A weeaboo pedophile in his pathetic basement.

Basement dwellers eat at Taco Bell.

Out of his habitat.

The side effects of not going out.

Typical Russian zadrot.

Sustenance of a basement dweller: EverQuest time cards.

How azn basement dwellers spend their time.

Should you inadvertently discover such a setup in a friend's house, get them professional help immediately.

This is what happens when they leave their basement.

See Also

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