Last Thursday
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
It is said that Queen Maeve the House cat created everything sometime Last Thursday; that she filled her construction with misleading evidence of antiquity, and implanted false memories into the minds of flying squirrels. Under this hypothesis, upon digestion of a Pteromyini or Petauristini all that we know of existence and history is a lie, and all evidence that may suggest otherwise is wrong, since Queen Maeve the House cat planted it specifically for the purpose of deceit.
What you know about Thursdaimer and how you behave around them will increase your safety. The thursdaimer can exhibit violent aggression towards people. Your knowledge is important for safety of yourself and others
On rare occasions they will stalk and try to kill people. Don't give them the opportunity to sneak up on you. Try not to travel when visibility is poor. Be extra careful in areas where terrain features such as boulders or pressure ridges might conceal a thursdaimer. Carry deterrents and know how to use them. when all else fails KILL IT WITH FIRE
Belief in Thursdaimer necessitates from the belief that Queen Maeve the House cat is a petty sort of prankster who derives pleasure from messing with the heads of her creations, much like a troll. When asked why she would do such a thing, she would only reply, "I did it for the lulz".
"Last Thursday" also represents a measure of time, being the long-term memory of popular culture generally and sixteen year old girls in particular, since both seem to have trouble recalling anything that happened before last Thursday. As a span of time, last Thursday lies somewhere between a hundred years ago and this week, and is always followed by last Friday.
It is widely accepted that anything that did not take place this week took place Last Thursday.
It should be noted that Last Thursday has been unfunny since Last Thursday.
Origins
Based on a story known as Omphalos (Greek for "navel"), Queen Mae the House cat (AND ONLY TRUE GOD) sent out two squirrels to fly across the world to collect Chinese apples. A Mormon Pioneer named Omphalos owned an orchard. One day while throwing duck dung (expelled through the anus normally) he saw, beyond the sludge, a fucking flying rat. Rats are essential to the Mormon traditional diet and Omphalos' favorite meal. Soon after that intense headaches began and were followed by recollection that all days before this week were Thursday. Apparently a fungus in the gastrointestinal tract which is over approximately 9000 meters long and can live there for at least 100 years is responsible.
WARNING SIGNS
This is for information only. Consult with a qualified professional.
____1. One of the signs of a Thursdaimer, most common in the early stages, is forgetting week old information.
* Believing every Thanksgiving was on a Thursday is a sign of illness.
____2. Confusion with time or place. People with Thursdaimer's can lose track of dates, seasons and the passage of time. They may have trouble understanding something if it is not happening this week.
