XBox
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A huckery piece of shit PC with a Unified Architecture something a rather and even more Microsoft proprietary bullshit tacked on the motherfucking side. Bill Gates's answer to the Playstation. Continues his fine tradition of ripping off other people's work and claiming it for his own, as it is just an Intel PC with an off the shelf graphics card (originally a nVidia) welded onto the motherboard. It is now capable of going on the internets through Xbox Live making IRL an option further from the minds of Xbox fanboys. But some people will buy anything, as shown by the fact that your mother still turns tricks.
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[edit] Xbox vs. Playstation
The truly elite will have both, but a source of much drama between poverty-stricken groups of 13 year old boys who feel their lives must be defined by dedication to which carefully marketed corporate device they prefer. Newsflash: Both suck and nobody gives a shit.
After all, everyone knows that the Gamecube is better; not that it really matters though, since no games have ever come out for it since its release.
[edit] PC owns Xbox
While the Xbox is about 10 times faster, 5 times cheaper, 5 times better and a hell of a lot smaller than any computer, this new-age technology is threatening to start a fever of Whitest Kids U'Know|church raping and woman burning among our youth in this great year of 1985.
[edit] Overheating
Your Ecksbawks will most likely explode 5 minutes after you turn it on. If you contact Customer Service you will be told to take the battery out of the machine, put the battery in a baggy, and put the baggy in a bucket of cold water. Most people were too lazy and didn't want to turn off Halo until they killed that fucking camper, so they ended up just putting the entire machine inside a baggy and putting that in a bucket while the power was still on.
[edit] LOL XBOX IS TEH FOOKIN HUUUUUG LOLZ
XBox is big. Really, really big. Big enough that the weight of just one baboon-sized controller was enough to crush the tiny, childlike hands of the average Japanese consumer. Also, research has demonstrated it's so big it has its own gravitational field. Everything has a gravitational field (especially Rosie O'Donnell).
However, to point this out is both old meme and unfunny.
The thing burns like a junkie falling asleep in bed with a cigarette but Microsoft's marketing skilz, fan-boy army, and status as a strategic asset of the US government ensured that this didn't made much of a dent in sales. WTF?
[edit] Niggas and the Xbox
If you were stupid enough to subscribe to Microsoft's shitty and laggy Xbox Live membership, you'd instantly notice how many niggas are present online. The fucking Halo 2 servers is dominated by these mother fuckers whom roam around with extremely deep and raspy, annoying, voices and sound like they're choking every time they laugh because of the shitty Xbox headset. Studies of this strange phenomenon suggest that blacks are attracted to these Xboxes due to the fact their size and color remind the blacks of they fat-ass dicks.
[edit] SECRETS!!!11
- The X-box makes its own delicious pork gravy.
- If you dip your urethra in Ora-Jel and place it in your Xbox, you can unlock the original Discs of Tron game.
- The Xbox can help you reach OT-III in the Church of Scientology.
- Xbox is TEH ROAD.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Links
The next generation Xbox controller...REVEALED!
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XBox is part of a series on Gaming. |
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