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{{realperson}}
{{needsmoar|WoW Forum Posts}}
{{warning|If you play with Elitemaiden in WoW, she'll report you [[over 9000]] times.}}
[[Image:Not-elitemaiden.jpg|frame|right|Elitemaiden in WoW mode.]]
[[Image:Elitemaiden.jpg|frame|right|Elitemaiden in [[IRL]] mode.]]
[[Image:Elitemaiden_demotivator17.jpg|thumb|Self-explanatory really.]]

'''Elitemaiden''' is a [[World of Warcraft]] addict who is the recipient of constant [[drama]] by everyone who she comes into contact with. Also, unlike all players who play as girls in WoW, she's actually female.

==History==
[[Image:Elitemaiden pwned.jpg|thumb|right|Snowball Bukkake]]
[[Image:Elitemaiden sex.jpg|thumb|right|The best she'll ever have.]]

[[At least 100 years ago]], Elitemaiden started playing WoW, building up her character to elite status to compensate for her ugliness. But then, the guild she was in broke up because the leaders got a life and quit. So, despite knowing and being on good terms with EVERYONE on the Uldum server (or so she claimed), she [[Bel-Air|moved in with her auntie and uncle in Hyjal]]. But really, everyone on Uldum was jealous of her oh-so awesome eliteness and began to troll her on the Hyjal forums. 

This came to a head when she tried to join some of the guilds on Hyjal. Basically, they heard she was an actual female, so the sex-deprived nerds all said, "[[Tits or GTFO]]." Not to mention that the forum trolls basically ripped into her not just on the forums but also in the game.

Later, she fashioned herself to be a [[communist|"Robin Hood"]] type person because the server allegedly was full of high-end guildies who put down the noob masses. However, these noobs [[irony|joined the trolls]] in ruining her.

==WoW is [[Serious Fucking Business]]==
Elitemaiden, in a serious case of [[internet disease]], actually plays the game like it's the real fucking thing. She actually believes that everyone on the Horde is evil, and that she's a good [[Christian|Alliance]] girl. This is made doubly hilarious because she doesn't even play on RP servers where that shit is at least tolerated by the players. She also tends to invoke [[Jesus]] a lot. Even though she is apparently the only one who has the "exemption" of any and all rules from the Bible... as long as she's "defending" herself.

===Reporting Crazy===
Things got to the point where nobody took her seriously any more, on 3 different WoW Servers. She stirred up so much drama that it actually got to the point that Alliance and Horde players would coordinate attacks specifically against her. She reported all sorts of trolling incidents to the point that even Blizzard wanted her to [http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=95399622&sid=1&pageNo=4 to STFU]. She has even gone as far as reporting NPC's because of what they would do when she passed by them.  She was observed once, reporting a sheep, because when she walked by, the NPC happened to go "bahh" and she thought it was against her, and a conspiracy.  And with every report, the trolls grew in power (not the WoW [[otherkin|race of trolls]], mind you; [[troll|real fucking trolls]]). This all led up to Elitemaiden becoming WoW's premier [[drama queen]]. She documents all this drama on her [[Xanga]].

After all this, proclaiming that she was the only innocent one in the bunch, making a dramatic comparison to World War 2 atrocities (she is a [[Jew]], we are the [[Nazi|Nazi's]], snowballing her in Ironforge), a thread began in the General Forums of WoW, of people calling for her [[ban]].  The thread grew to over 30 pages before it was deleted, and then she was ultimately [[owned]] by a forum moderator named Corelei, who called her out on being a troll, and apparently this is not the 1st time he's called her out, publicly on the forums, thus, ruining her self made "[[rich and beautiful|perfect image]]", and sent her into a [[nerd rage|frenzy]].  

==Leaving Forever==
Elitemaiden then could take no more. She quit WoW forever, and wrote a [[tl;dr]] <strike>open</strike> letter to Blizzard threatening to [[lawsuit|sue]], though she took it down after [[Fark]] got wind of it (Note that Fark knowing about this is pretty much proof that she's fucking insane). In it, she basically describes how everyone in WoW is picking on her and that Blizzard is doing nothing to stop it. She invokes [[Godwin's Law]], the [[TOS]], and the [[Patriot Act]], [[God]], World War 2. '''[[truth|All over a fucking video game that isn't even that good]]'''.

Ever since her departure, views of her Xanga have gone through the roof, no doubt by those from all across the [[internets]] hoping to catch a glimpse of her [[suicide|self-destruction]]. The funny part is that she's completely naive to all this, and actually believes that people are visiting her blog in ''support'' of her. Basically, right now she's still ripe for the pwning and [[asking for it]].

This drama is ongoing, and should be watched closely. Also, there's a video of her out there getting pwned by dozens of players all throwing snowballs at her, though so far it's eluded the public.

Unfortunately, she's yet to actually make due on her promise to quit WoW forever, further proving that WoW players are worse than crack addicts. She's still wreaking havoc and stirring up drama on whatever realm she plants herself at after she's finished making enemies of everyone on the old realms.

==Some lulzy posts==
*'''Posted to a guy with 3 level 70 characters who posts with a low level alt:'''
**Your suicidal tendencies WILL END at level 70.until then, I suggest you take a friend along for those very LONG treks back to your inert corpse especially in darkshire or draeni land. And please save up gold for a riding mount at level 40. It will really help some. But you might still be suicidal when you see us on flying mounts.<br/>CRY a little and LEVEL MORE.

*'''Her WoW Forum post before quitting:'''
**COUNT in your database just exactly HOW MANY THREADS these jerks have and count exactly HOW MUCH they STRIVE to cause drama and you will see the error of your ways. But its clear that you don't care about right or wrong do you? YOU just want to create MORE DRAMA for me by posting little insulting message in BLUE. Well, just don't forget who pays your salary my friend.<br/>YOU as a GM have FAILED. And because of you, I am going to cancel my subscription.<br/>The virtual world that should have been full of kind and nice helpful people to play a game that was amusing and fun is no longer such...because of the trolls that you are now encouraging.<br/>It's sad that there is no justice or nobility in this game...and there are only EVIL Hearts like YOU GM Corelei.YOU are just like those players who are trolling me, no different. YOu don't deserve your job and your post.<br/>YOU WIN.<br/>I QUIT. 

*'''Believing she can take down WoW for good. (Well, we'd all like that):'''
**Even though I started to do research and thought about bringing a legal lawsuit against Forum Moderator Corelei and Blizzard for not taking action against such discrimination and pointed victimizing of me..for he has broken the TOS. I am pretty sure that I can find all the issues and make the court see that Blizzard has done wrong.It could possibly SHUT DOWN world of warcraft or at least the forums for GOOD. And definitely get Corelei FIRED.

*'''And it's posts like the one below, that bring the trolls flocking to her:'''
**Oh look...<br/>The COMMUNIST HYJAL TROLLS are all here!<br/>Still fixated on me.<br/>Still psychotic.<br/>Still the SAME boring, ugly, diseased bunch.<br/>

==What Others Think==
Some comments about her from other WoW addicts who have experienced her firsthand:

*''she is a walking [[drama]] factory, capable of producing [[over 9000|seventy thousand kilotons]] of dramatics on a per-hour basis.''
*''The Horde was spared most of it, because she thinks we're all horrible evil monsters who eat babies.''
*''The Elitemaiden is not a person. The Elitemaiden is pure [[lulz|light]] and energy.''
*''The only people who remotely show her any respect are those who are [[stupid|ignorant]] to what she’s done. Everyone who has been following her trail of lies knows she is a [[Juliana Wetmore|walking catastrophe]] that will bring nothing but shame to whatever low end guild she manages to somehow con her way into.''
*''Sorry for the freakshow that is Elitemaiden. She's going to hijack your forums for the next couple months, until she starts to believe that your server sucks, and will thankfully leave for another server.''
:''...at which point you'll log onto the new sufferer's servers and apologize for sending her your way.'' 
*''[[Flaming]] EM is like hunting ducks with a Howitzer, see. It's still fun, it's still easy, but you don't spend as much time gluing bread crumbs to 150mm shells.''
*''Try not to comprehend her [[logic]]....it may cause brain damage because of all the stupidity in her illogical statements.''
*''Why does this dumb [[lol cow|cow]] keep making threads? Especially when she supposedly despises the forums so much. Hah.''
*''Christ. It's like nails on a chalkboard.''
*''EM is such a legendary [[emo]] case that the tales of her drama and self destruction from server to server must be shared.''
*''[[lie|shes hawt IRL]]''
*'' Did you read her letter to the legal department? She keeps [[My Immortal|switching in and out of 1st and 3rd persons]]. "I organized such and such guild" or "I was one of the most avid Pick up Group coordinators" then "These vicious, evil, dishonest players I believe are hidden behind the trolling of Elitemaiden."
*''Thank [[Raptor Jesus|all that is holy]]. The bad woman is gone.
*'' One of the most entertaining things I've ever witnessed on the interwebs. The entire Saga has filled numerous workdays with entertainment. 
*'' EM, this is the nicest thing you've ever done for us. Tonight, Imma eat a Ho Ho in your honor. I have never had a Ho Ho before. My husband suggested Chocodile, but I felt a Ho Ho was more appropriate. Wish me luck! Bye EM! Edit: It's 10 minutes later, and I have had 1/4 of the Ho Ho. I can stomach no more. How you [[fatty|survive on these things]] is beyond me! But it sure explains a lot!
*''Don't let the door hit you on the way out, you've obviously proven to everybody, including the CM's that, you're nothing but a self-centered [[attention whore|attention lover]], and that is being some-what nice about it. I had to rewrite this post at least four or five times before it was some-what user friendly. 
*''Coreiel should have just [[b&|banned]] you on the spot, for your own good. Everyone would have forgotten about it inside a month if you stopped making noise. As it is, for every thread you make here, I show my friends on other servers and we have a good [[lol|chuckle]] at your expense. Congratulations, you're famous. 
*''I used to have a little puppy that lived in my soul. When Elitemaiden used to rant and rave in LFG and the declare how she was reporting everyone and then whine about how no one wanted her in a guild even though she claimed she was the best mage on the server and was a Naxx/BWL quality player when she'd never been past Vael, a little piece of my soul died. That piece was the puppy. I miss you, Scruffy. Even though I know it won't bring you back, I hope this helps your little doggie soul rest in peace. :( 
*''On a side note.. EM.. your "[[sex|fling]]" with "T".. (thank you for hiding his true identity.. he can have a life after you.. )... YOU were the one who broadcast it to the whole friking server, blog, and everywhere else.. you wouldn't shut up about him.. thus why everyone thought it was the funniest thing EVER when you got rocked and dumped.. or he just saw you and ran the heck away.. we're not sure which one happened...and Also.. I bet if you didn't insult everyone or report 300+ people a night, [[lie|people wouldn't hate you so much]]
*''And Coreiel's last Post to EM:  Interestingly, Elitemaiden, I'm not a Game Master. I'm a Forum Moderator, and my job description involves maintaining the World of Warcraft Forums as a civil and friendly environment for all users. Occasionally, this necessitates the temporary or permanent removal of individuals who evidence a history of continually working against our efforts toward that goal.

==Gallery==
Motivational posters that have been made about Elitemaiden (Thanks Jimbobob and Hyjal)

{{cg|Gallery of Fail|stuff|center|<gallery>
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</gallery>}}

==Related Articles==
*[[World of Warcraft]]
*[[Fat]]
*[[Retard]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.xanga.com/RedflowerMinnesota '''Her Xanga blog.''']
*[http://www.wowdrama.org/2007/01/08/elitemaiden-an-introduction/ '''Her WoWDrama Entry.''']
*[http://axiom.goguild.org/Elitemaiden/ More proof she needs to STFU] (warning: LONG)
*[http://www.xanga.com/hyjalhateselitemaiden A lulzy spoof of Elitemaiden's Xanga started by the best troll on Hyjal, Ebonics aka Murd.]
*[http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=95399622&sid=1 The thread that started her fall, and ultimately lead to her being banned]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]