Internet Tough Guy

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Revision as of 00:31, 9 November 2009

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Note that the whitest, flimsiest looking one is the one cracking his knuckles.

Always male (as there are no girls on the internet), the Internet Tough Guy talks big shit online, and doesn't afraid of anything, but IRL he's a total fag or a basement-dweller. Most internet toughguys are into computer programming, or, at the bare minimum, love videogaming or working for RBS, the investment bank that hires a lot of fake tough guy cunts. The typical Internet Tough Guy can be found in nearly every community on LJ but often resides in his parent's basement, for at least 7 days a week, and not because he's trying to make it into an imaginary apartment, either. Usually his parents banished him to the unfinished, wet, moldy, dark basement because they couldn't stand his smell, or the fact that he is a disgrace to the family name. From furry communities to political communities, the Internet Tough Guy is one of many stock users that make up a community. This faggot is a prime example of a typical Internet Tough Guy.

This was that ex-marine, on his third tour of duty of Afghanistan, that accused you of cheating while playing Halo last night over Xbox Live. You should really prepare for the worst.

Sub-Species and Similar Breeds

Relaxing after showing off his e-peen.

Furfags

Many furries are Internet tough guys, as well. Fed up with fursecution at the hands of trolls, they often resort to threats of physical violence and will start talking about how much they can bench press. Mentioning muscle mass, level of physical fitness, etc. are all a part of being an Internet tough guy. By mentioning this they feel they are intimidating their opponents, but in reality making them LOL IRL REPEATEDLY. The trolls they are, sometimes they might say to a man who commented on a hot girl that "if she was my daughter, you'd be singing Soprano", when the truth is, this guy DOES sing Soprano, he couldn't find a wife or have kids if he wanted to, and if he really saw you, he'd shit his pants in fear. His disagreement over a hot girl confirms that he's a fag, but most people forget to remind him of that, and take the tough guy bait and end up in an e-war.

ITGs will often claim to be part of such manly occupations like being a marine, fireman, or police officer and will try to use acronyms and other important sounding terminology in conversations when in reality they are usually some basement-dweller who touches himself while watching Rambo.

Stalkers

Other behavior that ITGs take part in is harassment. An ITG like Nickolaus might harass you via AIM or ICQ or leave you voicemail and call you a big fag. This just increases the lulz. Sometimes, the Internet Tough Guy will threaten legal action or try to dig up dirt on their opponent. The Kadaitcha Dancers attempted to do this to Finestdrops in 2004, but failed miserably.

The ITG is not to be confused with someone who says what they actually think online and say it frankly, such as a so-called online stalker flaming back after an attention whore has flamed him to begin with (and then complains about him).

Internet Asshole

These guys love to flame you for the lulz. It is interesting to note that the Internet tough guy's arch-nemesis is the Internet asshole, despite the fact that they share many of the same characteristics. Because the Internet tough guy is so much more mature than you and everyone you'll ever meet, he will frequently call the victim a 'child', 'young one' and 'shotacon', as well as other kind of almost not so insulting names, implying youth and frailty. They might even call them 'boy' because, as you already know, there no girls on the internet. They will also get extremely butthurt if the things they say are called threats. They prefer to call everything they say "facts", because they are so much moar smarter than you, and so much moar maturerer than you.

The Internet tough guy may take on the guise of a White Knight, which basically involves all the nerdrage with half the CAPS. Alternatively, he might try and stick up for IRL people, knowing his hollow boasts will never need to be followed through. Such is the modus operandi of El_Emmennopea, fat furry from IMDb.

Sometimes, the internet tough guy will actually be somewhat "tough". However, this makes him about four times more of a total fag.

If someone threatens you online, that's it. Game over man. Game over! You are d-e-a-d, DEAD! Nothing can save you. Not even that new dog you just bought. You might as well kill yourself now.

	“   kerrect my grammer much more yelping dogs and i kerrect ur life and make it ded.   „   —Qaopan, instilling fear throughout Forumfall.   “   yes, i could kill you. very easily. i am in no way saying i shall, or that i wish to, just that i could. with great ease.   „   —esteigs.   “   Any more heat based on my flames, and I'll dip into my savings to fly to whichever basement you reside in, pass your over protecting parents, and beat the shit out of you.   „   —Phantom.   “   Foolish child. Revealing that much about yourself on the internet. I think you owe my sister, abaikgirl, an apology. She has had the same experiences as you and has three books in the making. But at least she doesn't brag about it. Try not to be so inflammatory on the internet here. Especially since you don't know who we might be. You're liable to get yourself into a lot of trouble. This is NOT a threat. Merely some friendly advice. I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't be so abrasive here. We have enough younglings here on gaia that have that mentality without us older and wiser folks contributing to the fray. I offer this as a courtesy because a number of my friends who are also gaians will not be so kind. Again NOT a threat. Simply a fact. Thank you for your time. Best wishes.   „   —Doctor Tarr, in response to hurting e-sister's feelings.   “   i laugh at ppl like u. i send comments for a reason. u dont know who the fuk you r tlkin to because first of all im not blk. ur brain is jus as tiny if my comments got to u. u cant call anyone a nigger but ur damn self and ur worthless parents for teachin u such ignorance. they deserve to b just as dead as u. u have the nuts to send me a comment like that but i guarantee u wouldn't have enough of them to bring ur ass to 220 lobdell hwy in port allen Louisiana 70767. i just gave u my address so im about wuteva anytime anywhere. i will beat the fuk out of u. girl or guy. u can tlk about how poor blks r but oprah, obama, and all blk celebrities have more than u r ur trashy family or friends have. u will not get far in life thinking the way you think. and thats comin from someone with auburn hair and blue eyes. take a bite out of that one and stay the fuk out of my business and wut the fuck i comment on. if your name wasnt mentioned then it hasnt shit to do with u. wut i eat dont make u shit so get a life. i only do this shit cuz im bored at wrk. i have not a hint of racism in me but fuk wit me and you will hate ur own kind when me and my crew finish with u. now determine wut color i am bitch.   „   —Kscottreal responding to "stfu nigger"   “   "-U wanna play with the big boys u gonna get ripped on; i.e. I'm not holding back on u. Fuck off, kid." "-~ hey u wanna get punched in the fu**ing head dude, come on down here & talk to me like u do. seriously. :) Nobody talks sh** to me in real life; they know better for obvious reasons; one I'm super cool; & secondly I'm super tough."   „   —dsoibel from YouTube.   “   Oh of course, it's time to move out of your mother's house and WORK HARD. Get plastic surgery.and a life, or I'd jump on your fat stomach. ManifestContent owns my sperm, to swallow, but he has to get them out of your mouth first for you swallowed quite a lot.   „   —SeventhSun (commenting to the user Nintega)   “   real funny faggots. you think this is a joke? yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Corp. and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander you're in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT!   „   —An internet tough guy Previous Quote  |  Next Quote

Serious Fucking Business

Tough Guy Quotes

Dealing with the Horrors of the Internet Tough Guy

DID YOU WRITE THIS? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WORRYING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE,HOUSING AND EDUCATION! AT LEAST YOU HAVE A FUCKING NORMAL FUNCTIONING BRAIN? OR DON'T YOU????? MY SON IS AUTISTIC AND I WOULD SPEND MY LAST DOLLAR TO MAKE HIM HAVE A LEAST HALF A NORMAL LIFE!! MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING CUNT!! IF I KNEW WHO YOU WERE YOU GUTLESS FUCKING FREAK I'D KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS YOU HORRIBLE PEICE OF SHIT YOUR GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!

This woman has contacted me and said some very offensive and inflammatory. Here is what was said, be aware of her and ignore her.

Alexandra Kayukov

Today at 11:00am

Report Message

It costs six million dollars to take care of one Autistic person. How many houses can be built for the same price? Sandra Gallagher This is my message to her and her subsequent response.

Today at 12:46pm Me: I am sorry but I am confused as to why you have sent me this message and exactly where you get your facts. All, I would say is that if that was your child, what would you think they were worth?

Alexandra Kayukov:

Today at 10:57pm

I saw you in one of the Autism groups. I've seen many sources on the internet, both videos and articles, that tell the price of Autistic people. I definitly value giving between four and 60 people homes, depending on what else they recive, to be better than my personal pleasure. For half the six million dollars, I could have been given a good home and be able to attend college to get a good job and contribute back every penny of the money. I'd also be able to work to progress technology.

Me:

I am confused as how you can make the connection between the cost of helping people with autism and housing. Helping people with autism doesn't take anything away from you or anyone else, as well I question your numbers. Certainly, there is a cost but even if no money was spent on helping autistic people that would not mean there would be more housing or that you could go to college. Autism affects 1 in 150 kids, are you saying that noone should help these kids? What do you propose be done? I think that you have a very distorted view on this matter and some misguided views. I would be far more upset about the billions of dollars that are spent on war and other irresponsible, wasteful projects. Helping children reach their full potential is not taking anything away from you and I suggest you get your facts straight before you approach a parent of an autistic child again and accuse them of taking away something from you. If you do not have a house or a college education that is not because of the help that autistic people receive, your blame is misplaced and hurtful. Millions of parents around the world are brought to the point of bankruptcy helping their children because insurance won't help them. What is next will you be confronting parents of other disabled children, people living with cancer or some other disease and blaming them for your personal failings?

I have reported her and subsequently blocked her, she is obviously misguided and mistaken and feels entitled to harrass people.

Sincerely,

Sandra

How to fail at threatening. Internet tough guy-ing in progress. They even exist on Facebook. Internet tough kid in a game. (Notice how his name begins with "emo")

Facebook tough guy reacts to a troll. Badass Internet homie. Indians take YouTube very seriously. Example of an Internet tough guy. She killed Kennedy IRL. Maximum power. Pure Catholic fury. NOT EVEN KIDDING. Fatty ITG fail. An Internet tough guy on the CNN blogs. The epic battle rages on.

IRL Tough Guys

• The 300
• Batman
• Ty Cobb
• Mel Gibson
• John Locke
• Billy Mays
• Chuck Norris
• Janet Reno
• Rosie
• Stallion

Gallery of Internet Tough Guys

Talk shit about my Turbo Grafx-16 and 3DO and you'll get sued! NEVER INSULT MY E-GIRLFRIEND! Rawr. Internet tough kid will fuck you up!

BITCH I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!11! 713 444 9602. Lulz guaranteed. A Furry internet tough guy. Nothing says you are badass like a katana and a pair of cat ears. A prime example of an internet tough guy. Another prime example Angry. Angry old man. ding ding...you fail. BITCH SHOW ME UR FACE SO I CAN POUND J00!!111 He's watching you. What he really looks like. Your average ZDaemon tough guy. Bunlckr <3's internet muscle. Internet Tough Guy wields majik cyberjujitsu to battle online AIDS wearing full-body condom. Some ITGs have swords so don't mess with them! Two of the internet's most famous internet tough guys. You kno u fokin' with? When computer h4x phail, there's a last resort. WHY DONT U COME OVER 2 MY HOUSE AND SAY THAT 2 MY FACE I WILL FUCK U UP1!!!!111 lol, i sure showed them!!1 Every internet tough guy's favorite magazine. For big-shot tough guys, there's ITG Quarterly. Even internet tough guys stick to the rules of the internet. Namely, Rule 34. Internet tough guy of Youtube being butthurt. yeah No wonder he's so popular on Deviantart Just look at him now... And then. "i gotta go" You crossed the line

See Also

• Angry Homo Kid
• Arguing on the internet
• Cigarskunk
• Daniel Brandt
• Grawp
• Kevin Provance
• Optikal
• Psfights - a forum for tough guys
• Ripper
• Sceptre
• So cash
• sorox123
• White Knighting
• Veteran

External

• Internet Assholes - Showcasing Neighborhood Assholes Since 2005
• - Jewish Internet Tough Guy Association - "Jewish Internet Defence Force"

	Internet Tough Guy is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET	Pitfalls • High Scores • Protips • Lern2ED •
Pitfalls Aspierations • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • Desktop Modding • DOING IT WRONG • Failing it • Flouncing • Histrionic personality disorder • Internet lawsuit • Internet tough guy • "Just Google It" • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Narcissistic personality disorder • Offended • Scientology (see PROJECT CHANOLOGY) • Skript kiddie • Sob Stories • Streisand Effect • Troll's remorse • Trying too hard • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance High Scores Angry Homo Kid • Animaljail • Anti Wulfhere Front • Applemilk1988 • astablazia • Cheryl Shuman • Dalhusky • Danielspengies • DBoyWheeler • Flardox • GayDiamond • Hal Turner • HellionExciter • JoshU2uber • Jude's Army • JuggaletteJenny • LittleCloud • Itssaphiragore • PixelBeeProductions • PeppermintPatti • Poeticirony • XxPrincessPunkxx • Prince Jeremy • Richard Bullis • Science Pirates • SokiTwopaw • Sweet Eva • Tara Gilesbie • Tom Serson • Zeriara Protips An hero • Computer Science III • Getting the Fuck Out • Going Back To Gaia • "Just Google It" • LURKING MOAR • Mod Sass • Shutting The Fuck Up • Stop Posting Lern2ED Minor Edit • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Red Link • Preview is for Pussies • Redirect • Undo