Lesbian Break-Up

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A highly ritualised form of warfare which at first appears to be between two lesbian former girlfriends, but which in fact involves all of each woman's family, friends, acquaintances, former girlfriends, co-workers, pets, clergypersons, neighbors, classmates (kindergarten and later), and congressional representatives. All too frequently, it also includes a large number of passersby, wandering squirrels, and foreigners who have never so much as met either of the parties involved.

The general atmosphere of a lesbian break-up is similar to that of trench warfare, bearing in mind of course that the Geneva convention does not apply, while the casualties are more in line with large-scale mutually annihilitive thermonuclear war.

When the Lesbian Two Degrees of Separation are accounted for, it rapidly becomes apparent that each lesbian break-up eventually includes every living thing on earth. Religious scholars have attempted to extend this by formulating what's called the lesbian theodicy, which states that "evil exists in the world because lesbians have free will to break up", but an analysis of this theory is beyond the scope of this article.

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