Nikola Tesla
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The original mad scientist. Nik is best known for being an attention whore, an uber-1337 h4x0r, and a filthy illegal immigrant from Serbia, but he is part Serb because of this war broke out between the two nations for like the 500 hundredth time. He was born during the Renaissance in 1984, his father was a pedophilic priest, his mother died before he was born at age eleven. He moved to America to avoid the wrath of Serbia's fierce tigers. Here he met Thomas Edison, with whom he worked with to enslave the world. The two eventually settled into a gay relationship, but were torn apart when Tom stole Nik's invention, modern anal. Nik went on to build his own laboratory atop a volcano, before starring in "The Prestige" as David Bowie.
J. R. Redding has Tesla's mummified penis in a jar in Kansas City which he sucks on every night.
Nikola was actually a vampyre (revealed on the show Sanctuary) who faked his death.
lolz i r invent teh science
Nik is famous for spamming the patent office; he submitted at least 7,696,449 ideas, most involving giant robots and flying saucers. His lesser inventions include:
- the steam engine
- the light bulb
- time
- gravitation (?)
- the radio (in your face Marconi)
- the Tesla turbine
- several experimental A.I.s
- a vibrator for splitting planets in half, and its smaller rendition for knocking down buildings
- a death ray capable of destroying 10,000 airplanes at a distance of 250 miles
- the telephone repeater, a 1337 phr34k1ng tool (also known as the tesla box)
- the tesla coil, for k-lining l4m0rz by sending 82,553,815,247 volts over the phone lines
- an equine torture device, which remotely caused horseshoes to become electrically charged in relation to the ground. Nik also considered similar devices for hearts, moons, stars, clovers, diamonds and balloons.
- X-Men member Storm (accidental)
- the mechanical diarrhea-inducing bull
- your mom
- anti-bacterial soap on a rope
- sentient fire
- www.meatspin.com
- anti-lulz cannon
- nanobots
- Ziggy Stardust
- The Tesla electric car
- MOD-Cleo
(All of which were also built by Tony Stark in a cave with a box of scraps)
Nik's plans to build a wireless world brainwashing transmitter - codename Internet - were interrupted when he made contact with the alien planet of Rigel IV. The Rigelians were peaceful at that time, but Nik threatened to probe their planet with his vibrator if they refused to make him their supreme leader. He has since been building his intergalactic army in preparation of conquering the Multiverse. Experts predict this will occur in the year 2032.
Trolling in the Good Old Days
Also a severe sufferer of Attention Deficit Disorder, some of his whoring tactics include his obsession with the number 3, most likely originating from the number of dicks he could stuff in his mouth at once. The scientific world has made an honorable reference to him by coining his name to the 'magnetic flux density', which is actually just 'Weber per square meter'. Chances are though that this was all part of his evil plot, as there seems to be a magnetic object of at least 100 tesla approaching planet Earth, but it's probably a troll.
Pwnt
Then the Jews and the FBI thought he was a communist and then they raided his house. Because WoW hadn't been invented yet, they all ragequit after pissing and moaning about the shitty loot system when they just got a bunch of papers and books, and not even any Epic Books. So then people had to reinvent all of his shit at least 100 years later, and made it run on a series of tubes.
