Physics
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
An often ignored fact of reality used by trolls and scientists to point out how YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID, physics makes the internet go 'round. measures how the internet goes 'round.
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Explosives did WTC
Everyone knows Jews did WTC, but scientologists would have you believe that Government did WTC. This is because they have a 13 year old boy's understanding of physics. The twin towers, they say, could not have fallen anywhere near terminal velocity. Therefore OMG EXPLOSIVES! You can see why this is stupid by conducting the following experiments.
Facts Exploited through Physics
Heavy things fall harder than light things
Here is a science experiment you can try at home. Drop one marble on your head and have a friend measure the time it takes to hit your cranium. Now drop a bowling ball on your head and measure the time it takes to crack your skull. Both fall in the same amount of time, but one has a good chance of killing you.
Jet fuel is hot
If you have survived the previous experiment, try this one. Find a piece of wood, any size will do. Now, light that piece of wood on fire. Hold that peice of wood in your hand and time how long you can hold it. Now, soak a rag in kerosene and light that on fire. Again, time how long you can stand to hold it. Make sure you use your unburnt hand, as the previous hand will likely have nerve damage. You should find that one hand burned faster than the other.
Fast things hurt more than slow things
As you are either dead or pretty much covered in cast, you will need a friend for this experiment. Call him. As he walks into your hospital room, throw a bullet at him. He will probably wonder why you did such a thing. This is because it didn't hurt. Then pull out your EPIC Desert Eagle and pop a cap in his ass. He will probably scream, bleed and try to kill you. This is because the bullet travelled much faster, and therefor, hurt moar. A WINNAR IS YOU!!!
Other facts facts of physics
Computers rely on the flow of electrons through micro-transistors to function
Self-explanatory really. Some argue that computers rely on the flow of material through tubes.
The above is incorrect. In fact, computers run on magic smoke. This is evidenced by the fact that computers always cease to work when the magic smoke is released from them.
The above is incorrect. In fact computers, like the internets, run on tubes. This is evidenced by the fact that when you release the magic smoke by using a torch and some gasoline the internets do not disappear except to you because you are dead.
Higher up things fall harder than lower down things
Imagine a young lady standing on the roof of a house naked. If she throws a rock straight into the air and it lands on the man in the bushs masterb8ting to her it will hurt a lot more than if dropped from, say, the first floor window. This has to do with Newton's law which states that there are no girls on the internets so they must be standing on the roof, naked.
Magnets move things
Some people believe that magnets can control metal. This is false. Only Magneto can control metal.And the force. This is proven by the picture associated. Look tharr foar proofs.
Longcat is long
Despite /b/ depictions, ||longcat||=∞.
The Falcon Punch
The Falcon Punch is the only known method of destroying physics other than dividing by 0.
Miscellania
The arbitrary physical constants of the universe are the result of a freak chemical reaction which occured when Lowtax railed a bald eagle in the ass.
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