Rupert Murdoch

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Moar liek JEWpert Murdoch, amirite?

Rupert owns a shitload of old media, from the The Times and the Wall Street Journal to Faux News and the Star Channel. A few years back, he decided to own a shitload of the Internet, too. Rupert Murdoch bought most of what he owns at auctions held by the Illuminati, when he wasn't torturing babies and climbed over the corpses of his people to reach the top. A foresighted fellow, he spotted MySpaz at one auction and bought it from Tom for $780 million. With his trademarked reverse Midas effect, Rupert turns everything he touches into crap. His traditional nickname in Britain is the dirty digger.

Other Jews control what's left of the old media and are rushing to grab what's left of the Internet.

Rupert expressing surprise on being accused of running imbalanced news networks.

Conceived in a private school in southern Australia after his partly Irish-descended old man popped his load into his Jewish mum, Rupert is coy about the timing and her background. Some argue this happened in the 1890s, evidence being the wrinkles on the trainwreck he calls a face and his corpse-like stench. The name "Murdoch" can be roughly translated as "Information Rapist."

Personal Life

Rupert is an elusive fellow, he surfaces on rare occasions to buy children for slave labour in his private upper-class retreat and to buy more means of controlling how the world thinks. He's been married over 9000 times to various women and children through his long life. The latest is a Chinese woman well over thirty years his juniour. Her name was Wendy Dung, so now it's Wendy Dung Murdoch. Controlling how people in China think is Rupert's next most important current project to controlling how people think on the Internet. He often uses information gathered on MySpace by advertising agencies to create new music projects to further dumb down the population at large, and make them even easier to sell things to while they attend church.

He likes to party, and often beats whoever he is currently sleeping with. Many people think he epitomizes the biggest problems of the society in which we live, but he really just loves people, and believes in democracy and freedom. He only buys all that stuff to subvert dominant paradigms. Really, it's all true!

Rupert's Internet Empire

Virgin doesn't have enough Jew gold to pay for Rupert's channels.

On the Interwebs, Jewpert owns all of these sites.

Murdoch Cash

Hey Proletarians,

My name is Rupert, and I'm controlling every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who will vote for whatever political party I tell you to. You are everything exploitable in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever thought for yourself? I mean, I guess it's fun going with the masses and not thinking critically about what you read or watch, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than liberal leftists writing in The Guardian.

Don't try to oppose me. Just sit back and relax with a copy of The Sun or watch Fox News. I'm pretty much perfect. I am the CEO of News Corporation, and have more money than most governments. What influence do you have, other than "spreading the word about trying to find Madeleine McCann"? I also get to live a life of luxury, and have a banging hot azn trophy wife (she just blew me; she love me long time, many time). You are all unthinking masses who should just continue taking in my cum so that I get more money. Thanks for listening.

Related pic.: It's me and my latest wife.

See Also

• Annalise Walliker

External Links

Rupie's MySpace. Filled with neo-fascist glee.