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Santa Rosa - famous for its wine and [[cartoon]]ist (and maybe some obscure botanist, but nobody gives a [[shit]] about him<!-- Luther Burbank -->). Santa Rosa is a town north of [[San Francisco]] and right by [[Sebastopol]]. Much like any other [[California]]n town, it is plagued with too much good weather, too many [[Mexicans]], too many [[hippies]], too many liberals, and too many [[homosexual]]s. This is probably why Alfred Hitchcock liked filming movies in this area. 


[[Image:Joe Internet.jpg|thumb|That's right - he's [[OTI]], bitches!]]

==Charles Schultz==
Apparently, this guy lived (and died) here. Every-freaking-body knows the Peanuts comic, so any retarded Santa Rosan can say, "Hey, my town's famouser than yours because we've got a famous dude. Uh huh, he drawed good cartoons." If anybody points out the fact that Mr. Schultz is dead, the Santa Rosan will more likely than not scream, "[[STFU]], don't make me get [[emo]][[oneoneone|!!111onoeone]]" They will then proceed to actually say the words, "''': ('''" (pronounced "colon end parenthese") in a horrible attempt to talk [[l33t]]speak [[IRL]].

==Alcohol==
Santa Rosa is located in Sonoma County, which likes to make fun of all the other counties surrounding it because it makes more wine than them (especially Napa County. They only make auto parts.) This means Santa Rosans can get drunk much easier, leading to an increasing number of [[fag]]gots who wake up the next morning and wonder why the hell their ass hurts so bad. They then proceed to go teach at one of the city's public schools.

Alcohol consumption & production has only increased since [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] was elected governator. Although no Santa Rosans know it, he's actually visited the city [[at least 100]] times. His motorcade was so fucking huge that it tore up the city's main streets and highways, and now the city has to rebuild them [http://www.santarosatraffic.com/project_information.shtml].

==[[Internets]]==
The only way to get a decent [[internets]] connection in Santa Rosa is to use a connection reserved for the local government. Since the City Council is a bunch of uptight [[asshole]]s, they took most of [[Comcast]]'s bandwidth for themselves and their [[bitches|cronies]]. This has led to increasing internets withdrawal, and a substantial rise in the [[emo]] population. However, since over half of the city's residents are Mexicans (and we all know they're incapable of using the internets), it doesn't really matter.

In addition to stealing the internets, the City Council also fucked up Santa Rosan television, by the aforementioned stealing of bandwidth from Comcast cable customers. This means Santa Rosans can't get Comcast OnDemand. Once again, this caused an increase in [[teh]] [[emo]].


Much like small woodland creatures, Santa Rosans are [[raped|preyed upon]] by [[Sebastopol]]ians. Other known predators include [[Europe]]ans and [[webcomic]] artists.

[[Category: Locations]]