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[[Image:Satani2.gif|right|thumb|SRA in action]]
Back in the 1970s and 1980s, one sure fire way to stir up the lulz (or evilulz) was to go up to your family in public and accuse them, in a crowded courtroom, of worshipping Satan and bad touching you during their demonic rituals of occult!

'''Satanic Ritual Abuse''' was the [[50 Hitler Post]] of the pre-[[internet]] [[trolling]] era, where falsely accusing people of not only being [[Satanist]] but of being ''[[Child abuse|abusive]], [[Pedophilia|pedophilic]]'' Satanists, was an easy way to [[ruin]] someone who you didn't like or who slighted you in some fashion. After all, in a permissive society where devil worshipping is considered a fad and as trendy as fake [[bisexual]]ity or [[vegetarian]]ism, being a Satanist is ok. But if you are a Satanist who abuses children, well society's tolerance to your devil worshipping goes out the window as people scream "moral panic". 

== Z0mg Satanists == 

Dr. Lawrence Pazder wrote the best selling book ''Michelle Remembers'' based on the [[bullshit|repressed memory]] of his patient (and wife) Michelle Smith. Causing a lolocaust in the early 80's that [[ALL CAPS|"ZOMG SATANISTS ARE RAPING OUR CHILDREN!!!!"]] 
However soon after the book’s publication, Pazder was forced to withdraw his assertion that it was the Church of Satan that had abused Smith, when Anton LaVey (who founded the Church of Satan in 1966) threatened to sue for libel. Apparently Satanists don't take lightly to being libeled, especially since Pazder's book also included a section on how to successfully bullshit people into thinking you had been sexually abused by Satanists in order to get back at people you don't like.

The "repressed memory" angle was the crux of the argument, as you can make up widely unbelievable claims of sexual and physical abuse that happened as an adult and decry critics who wonder why you only now are remembering it by claim to have "repressed" said memory. This was big for adults who wanted to get back at their mommy and daddy, by claiming past crimes of abuse and Satan worship to ruin their family's names. "Repressed Memory" soon became the little black dress of abused, adult Emos who claim all sorts of bullshit abuse that their parents did by claiming it happened and that they "repressed" the memory of it afterwords.
[[Image:Satbaby.gif|thumb|alt=Scary.|Proof.]]

==Even Jewish American Princesses Claim Victimhood Satanic Ritual Abuse ==
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Above is a clip of an episode of Oprah, which like all talk shows of the time, packed their shows full of adults, who were bitter at their parents and who claim to be victims of Satanic Ritual Abuse in order to get onto TV.

=== Laurel the SRA and Holocaust survivor ===
When accusing friends and family of rape, cutting, and threats of suicide didn't get her the sympathy she wanted, Laurel Rose Willson accused them of Satanic Ritual Abuse in the wildly hilarious book ''[http://www.cornerstonemag.com/features/iss090/sideshow.htm Satan's Underground]''. After that bullshit got discredited, she decided to begin claiming that she is really a holocaust survivor...but it turns out that even the Jews don't want to listen to her bullshit after she was [http://www.cornerstonemag.com/features/iss117/lauren.htm#fn1 exposed yet again].

== Kids Say the Darndest Lies ==
When the repressed memory bullshit started to get exposed as bupkiss, evilulzers began a new approach, this time aimed at a new concept to come out of the '80s: daycare centers. Basically, a bunch of tight-fisted right wing religious types, furious that mothers were sending their children to daycare so that they could have lives, brainwashed their poor, helpless children to claim that daycare centers across the US were run by a secret Satanic conspiracy bent on raping and torturing children sent to daycare. These hell-bound "[[Christian]]s" successfully framed countless daycare employees and daycare center owners of child abuse and child molestation, going so far as to kill themselves afterwords so that they could not be made to testified and exposed as the true monsters. This [[masturbation|single-handed]]ly killed the "daycare center" industry in [[America]]. It also led to one of the earliest ever "memes", as handing a child a doll and asking the child to tell the crowd around them where on the doll the big bad Satanists touched you, because adopted as a joke for dead baby comics everywhere...

=== The McMartin Daycare ===

When a paranoid schizophrenic woman accused the staff of the McMartin Daycare of butt raping her son, we got the longest, most expensive, and hilarious trials to ever take place in America - [http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/mcmartin/mcmartinaccount.html The McMartin Trial].

Hundreds of photographs of the anuses and vaginae of the children were brought in as [[CP|evidence]], but no one could quite see what Dr. William E. Gordon, the expert [[pedophile|medical interpreter]], [[nothing|saw]].

One child, when asked to point to the person in a series of photos who had molested him, picked out the actor [[Chuck Norris]], a city attorney, and four [[Bridget|nuns]] in a faded photograph taken 40 years earlier.

== Fall-Out==
Having single handedly killed the daycare industry, the whole thing ultimately lost it's charm and evil lulziness as people grew wiser and realized how bullshit "repressed memory" was and how children were not innocent beings incapable of lying and could be brainwashed into [[sparkling wiggles|saying just about anything by manipulative adults with an agenda]].

[[Category: Subcultures]]