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[[image:ASL-OldObese.jpg|thumb|right|JeniGirl78 just needs $300 for plane tickets over to you.]]
[[image:Noaim.gif|thumb|right|These people have [[shit]] screen names.]]
All [[sheeple]] have screen names because as it is implied it is your name on the [[internet]]. It's used to communicate with all kinds of people all over the world, but mostly it's used to procure [[Secks|secks]] (usually the [[buttsecks|butt]] kind). As a rule all men are gay and all women are hot, blond, and 18. They are also usually [[Bubba]].

== Making a successful Screen name ==
In order to make a successful screen name, you must first access the [[AIM]] or you can't even have a screen name. Then, to begin making a screen name, you must take into account the following things (no regard for spelling is MANDATORY):

===For [[White people]]:===
* your sport
* your [[man|gender]]
* a meaningful number of some sort (weight, address, age, birth date, PIN, Social Security number, bra size)
Examples:
socrchick944, hockeygurl321, football4lyfe666420

===For [[Azns]]:===
* your specific Asian nationality, or just AzN
* your [[man|gender]]
* Mickey Mouse has to be in your name
* your Asian name
Examples:
Vietboi35, azNm1ckymous3, krngrl55<3, THAItraniboy, chongchong132

===For [[Black people]] and other minorities that all look alike anyways:===
* your race
* your gang status
Examples:
BL4CKD33lR, AznPryD3_9, thuggachik6969

===For [[Emofags]]:===
* gratuitous amounts of x's on either side of your name
* a phrase that expresses your deep inner turmoil (preferably song lyrics or lines from well known poems)
* a number (to show you weren't the first to come up with the idea)
Examples:
nonconformist933, xxxxxathousandtearsxxxxx, xXxTHESEWOUNDSTHEYWILLNOTHEALxXx

===For [[Trolls]]:===
* a slur for the intended troll victims
* something implying [[homosexuality]]
* [[ALL CAPS]]
Examples:
FAGTRON3000, CUMSUKKKAR, LIBS_R_GAYFAGS

===For [[Furries]]:===
* the name of your fursona
* the fursona's species
* something about the fandom (so people know just what you are)
Exampples:
Drakky, MitsuTehSkunkki, Yiffwhore456

===For [[Otaku]]:===
* The name of a popular anime character, or even better, two characters' names mixed together
* Your [[Over 9000|POWAR LEVEL]]
* Random Japanese words or phrases
* Some [[kawaii]]-desu! [[emoticon]]s
Examples:
SSJiniysha666, SuperGotenk9000Ranma, ^_^*SailorChibiChibiKawaiNekoSakuraPrincess*^_^

==Your Internet Identity==
Now that you have established yourself on the AIM, it's important to use a similar, if not the same, name on other websites, so that your [[internet stalking|fans]] can follow your every move online and that much more easily become a real life [[internet stalking|fan]]. 
* [[LiveJournal]]
* [[DeviantArt]]
* [[Gaia]]
* [[Youtube]]
* [[MySpace]]
* [[eHarmony]]

==Screen Name Theft==
Remember you are a snowflake and the most original person on the internets [[evar]]!!! Therefore, anyone with a similar screen name to yours is obviously copying you or trying to [[identity theft|steal your identity]]. Be sure to harass them constantly about it until they give up and change names. Remember no one will defend your crappy DevianTART account except you!

[[Category: Communicae]]