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[[Image:Keeper.jpg|thumb|120px|A lesbian putting her [[significant other]] to sleep.]]

[[Image:Keeper2.jpg|thumb|120px|"The Keeper", divinely floating in space and oddly resembling one of those things they use for clogged toilets]]

[[Significant other|'''The Keeper''']] is a rubber device used by [[lesbians|fat feminists]] who believe that they are saving the rainforest because they don't use tampons or cotton pads. '''The Keeper''' is a receptacle that [[Magick|collects menstrual blood]], allowing the [[Dying alone|lesbian user]] to save said blood and [[Menstrual painting|get creative]] with it or use it as a [[offended|plant fertilizer for top-quality, organically-grown tomatoes]]. '''The Keeper''', also known as ''Moon Cup'', is supposed to be washed three times a day. The blood should be discarded. However, we all know that's bullshit since all lesbians are [[communism|liberals]] who think that re-cycling must be applied to everything, including <strike>condoms</strike> [[Dental dam|dental dams]].

==History==
Back in the Neolithic period, when men <strike>weren't</strike> were [[Furry|furries]] and [[woman|women]] made brontosaur sammiches, the latter (women and brontosaurs) used to let their menstrual blood run freely down their limbs as a peace offering to all the [[vampires]] who used to roam the Earth. Unfortunately, [[last Thursday]] some [[retard|hippy]] [[wicca|wiccan]] thought it would be [[Gay|eco-friendly]] to create a device that allowed her to collect her blood in most selfish fashion, and '''The Keeper''' was conceived. As a result, we have been plagued with faggoths who swear to have [[LOL WUT|occult powers]] and a thirst for blood. Well, there's '''The Keeper''' for you. We wouldn't want to let all those good menses go to waste now, [[Yes|would we]]?

==Saving the environment==
'''Tampons''' and '''period pads''' are made of cotton (moar like a fucking plant, one would presume).
'''The Keeper''' is made of rubber (which is made from petroleum or trees, [[Amirite|amirite]]?)
The [[logic]] of these [[Attention whore|brave environmentalists]] leaves us pondering whether they are [[troll|trolling]] us or just [[insane|batshit crazy]]. We thinks them [[idiot|naïve]].

==From under the [[Faggotry|Rubber Tree]]==
[[Some argue|However]] [[Fucktard|genius]] the idea of [[The Keeper]] is, it still has [[AIDS|one small flaw]] that makes us [[lulz|doubt]] the [[fail|magnificence]] of its performance: users of [[The Keeper]] still have to wear a pad to prevent the [[abortion|menstrual blood]] from splattering out of their rubbery [[cunt|vaginas]] and staining their tye-dye underwear. Not just any pad, though: [[wicca|Moon Cup]] companion pads, which are better and much moar eco-friendly than regular ones because they are manufactured by the same company that sells The Keeper. They are thick, flowery and look like kitchen cloths. They are, in fact, cloths made of... well, pure cotton. But these ones can be rinsed and re-used, so the planet is safe and we can all rest appeased. (See disturbing gallery of a comic by Andie White below.)
It is said that [[lolcow|users]] of '''The Keeper''' grow so attached to it that they wear it on regular days anyway as a substitute for the male [[dick|penis]] or [[dildo]], and that they gently put it to sleep as if it was their [[lonely|inner child]]. It sort of is, [[True|isn't it]]?

== You Recycle WHAT?? by a [[fat]] [[indie]] [[bitch]]. ==

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==See Also==
*[[Menstrual painting]]
*[[AIDS]]
*[[Art]]
*[[Significant other]]
*[[Lesbians]]
*[[Hippy]]
*[[Wicca]]
*[[Magick]]
*[[Liberalism]]
*[[Communism]]
*[[Insane]]
*[[Vampires]]
*[[Indie]]


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