The colonization of America
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
EPIC WIN
Some time ago the Benevolent Columbus stumbled upon a backwater continent while searching for spice. When word got back to Europe that there were poor natives living in a faraway land the Europeans selflessly took it upon their shoulders to help spread peace, happiness, and Christianity to the primitives, thoroughly succeeding. The Indians had too much gold, so the civilized countries helped them out by taking some of that useless gold off their hands. The Indians were forever grateful for the assistance they received, and now enjoy a booming casino business as well as cheap cigarettes.
An Alternate View
Even though at least 100 million Indians have been killed since Columbus took his boat to India, this wasn't an act of terror because terrorism was invented 6 years ago. Freedom — the word and everything, though — was invented (and ©, ®, ™, patented — too) at that time.
An Objective View
Second only to Australia and Sheepfucktardland the Americas was the latest continent to be incorporated into the Global Network of Human Relations. This achievement allowed for higher peaks of Human Civizilation, like Cigarettes, Chocolate, and plenty of loli with the only downside of syphilis - a very small price to pay for so much win. It is to be noted that the Native Americans benefited just as much getting to know the delights of alcohol and freedom for the first time in their pathetic history. Experts note that had Europeans never contacted the Injuns they would have continued fighting each other senselessly to their own extinction, however now their numbers, though mixed with better genes, grow exponentially thanks to Caucasian inventions such as Pharmaceuticals.
