User:Hellbilly/Christian Bale
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Christian Bales on his favorite roles. |
Christian Bale (born 30 January 1974) is a British actor and environmentalist, famous for beating the shit out of whores in the film American Psycho, beating the shit out of dragons in Reign of Fire, and beating the shit out of the mentally-ill in The Dark Knight. He recently starred as John Connor in Terminator: Salvation, which required him to push the limits of his acting skills and beat the shit out of some robots. Bale has also starred in several arthouse and indie films. These no doubt involved him beating the shit out of something, but he may have also danced around naked afterward.
His mother was a circus clown. Really.
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Notable Films
- Public Enemies (co-starring Johnny Depp)
- Terminator: Salvation
- The Dark Knight
- 3:10 to Yuma
- Rescue Dawn
- The Prestige (co-starring Hugh Jackman)
- Batman Begins
- Howl's Moving Castle
- The New World
- The Machinist
- Reign of Fire
- American Psycho
Christian Bail
In July 2008 Christian Bale was arrested for laying the fucking smackdown on his mother, Jenny (the aforementioned clown), and sister Sharon in an East London hotel room just before the European premiere of The Dark Knight. The two golddiggers were obviously there to hit up Bale for some crack money. When Bale politely told them "TITS or GTFO" they refused, at which point he politely escorted them from the premises. He made bail four hours later.
In August 2008 the British police declared that the whole thing was rather lulzy, and the charges were dropped due to "lack of evidence".
RAGE Against the Machines
In February 2009 audio of Bale on the set of Terminator: Salvation made its way to the internets, in which the future savior of mankind can be heard flipping his shit like a teenage valley girl on her period.
Said RAEG was directed at Shane Hurlbut, the film's director of photography. According to Bale, the dipshit Hurlbut had ruined his concentration by repeatedly walking into his line of sight during an "intense scene". In the recording, a pissed-off Batman is heard slinging profanities at Hurlbut and threatening to kick his ass. The recording reaches it's zenith of hilarity with Bale vowing to quit the film if Hurlbut wasn't fired.
Bruce Franklin, assistant director and producer of Terminator Salvation, remarked that it was an isolated incident. "If you are working in a very intense scene and someone takes you out of your groove...It was the most emotional scene in the movie." Which makes one wonder how "intense" and "emotional" a scene can be in a movie about robots that blow shit up.
Bale gave a public apology later that week, saying that he had "acted like a punk."
Quick to jump on board the departing Lulz Train, several people parodied the incident. One musically inclined troll named Lucian Piane made a catchy little techno remix, which then led to a dramatic retelling of the story Off Broadway.
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